Obama bin Biden — coincidence?

Uh, yeah. I’d say so.

As I woke up this morning to write this column, I felt a great deal of pride for this country. This is a pride I haven’t felt in a long time. (Republicans, I realize that phrase is reminiscent of Michelle Obama. Stick with me.)

With the nation dealing with a great amount of uncertainty, I came to a sort of epiphany last night: I’m proud of this country.

I know, I know — my past columns would suggest the contrary. But I can’t help it, it’s like my political dreams are coming true.

With Barack Obama ahead in presidential polls and John McCain scrapping for any dirt he can find on Obama, I have a feeling this election might be heading in the direction I hoped it would since long before the election process ever started.

America, I’m so proud of you!

This is a country to take pride in — one where a black man with a funny sounding name can be a vote away from the presidency. A country that can overlook the superficial appearance and labels of an extremely qualified presidential nominee — well, that just gives me the warm and fuzzies.

But there are still a few people out there, less than a month from the Nov. 4 election, that are still trying to draw parallels between Barack Obama and Osama bin Laden based on their names.

In New York’s Rensselaer County, absentee ballots were erroneously sent out with “Barack Osama” running against McCain. On various Web sites, bumper stickers and t-shirts carrying variations on the “Osama bin Biden” theme are on sale. And, of course, there have been a few gaffes from the likes of Rush Limbaugh and Mitt Romney that confuse Obama and bin Laden.

Reader, I don’t want to play you for an idiot. More than likely you are a student or professor killing a little time between classes. I hate to insult you, being the intelligent person you are. You know better already. But for those of you who don’t know, let me clarify.

Barack Obama is a Democratic senator from Illinois. He is a graduate of Columbia University and Harvard Law School. He is the first African-American person to be nominated for the ticket of a major political party. He considers himself to be a Christian. He is not a terrorist.

Osama bin Laden is Islamic militant and jihadist. He would like to destroy all infidels and America. He has claimed responsibility for the Sept. 11, 2001, acts that brought down the twin towers and crashed a plane into the Pentagon and a field in Pennsylvania. These attacks killed nearly 3,000 Americans. He is a terrorist.

Still, some people out there try to draw parallels between the two based on a rhyme scheme. Any poet will tell you it’s a bad rhyme scheme at that.

But I understand that in the final hour of this election, desperate times call for desperate measures. Otherwise logical and levelheaded people are referring to Obama as “Barack Hussein Obama” at the last minute to win the ignorant votes of millions of undecided voters.

It’s a pathetic plea to sensible Americans to become unreasonable.

When I was a kid, I knew a girl named Dani, short for Danielle. My friend Laura and I, not having shortened names that sound masculine, used to poke fun at Dani for being a boy. She was clearly not a boy.

Granted, it was mean, but I was 7.

Years later, I am sure she still isn’t a boy (unless there was some kind of procedure done that I never heard about) and I’ve learned that just because something sounds the same doesn’t make it the same.

America, you are 232 (and a half) years old. I think it’s time to grow up.

Christina bin Caldwell has no relation to Christina Aguilera or Simon Cowell, but can be reached at christina.caldwell@asu.edu.