The 2008 U.S. presidential election is Tuesday. If you haven’t voted early, be sure to cast your ballot. But this column won’t be about the election.

You see, every week, it’s surprisingly difficult for me to come up with a new column idea. For a girl who’s full of opinions, this comes as a shock to me, as well. But for my own sanity, I can’t write another column about the election. I just can’t. I’ll have a brain aneurysm, die and never, tragically, be able to fill your Mondays with joy — or loathing — again.

That’s why this column won’t be about the election. It’s about what comes after.

Getting back to the normal groove of things will certainly be a tough transition. No conspicuous politicians will call you from a private or blocked number. And I don’t know if the world can fully grasp the fact that Tina Fey’s impressions of Sarah Palin will no longer be with us.

Without 24-hour news coverage about who is wearing what, who said what and who communicated with whom, how are we going to know who to vote for?

It’s easy. There won’t be a vote to worry about.

I probably just blew your mind, so give me a minute to collect the pieces and put it back together.

Try hard to think back to a year and a half ago when things were simple. Long before the credit and housing market took a drastic and serious plunge, we continued to tolerate President Howdy Doody for a second term, but moved forward with our individual lives (because, of course, at the time there were no propositions to intrude on our lives and the lives of others).

Yes, things were simple then.

Tuesday, a slow transition to simplicity — or rather, the new American idea of simplicity — will occur. Both sides of the aisle will finally see that no matter the candidate, a qualified person will fill the office of president. Yeah, I said it. If you disagree, just set aside your partisan politics for a few months and see.

If your candidate doesn’t win this election, try not to throw a hissy fit. I’m looking at you, Obama fans. As an Obama fan myself, I know what our “type” is capable of. We love to protest and do other things to express our opinions — like writing opinion columns and, you know, rioting.

But I’m going to refrain from being uncivilized in my opinions and let’s hope you can, too. By all means, express yourself. Freedom of speech is a guarantee in this country and of course I embrace it. It’s the only way I’d be able to tell you Barack fans to keep it classy.

And McCain fans, the same goes for you. Should McCain win the election, try not to rub it in our faces that the “change we believed in” really wasn’t good enough. If any old white Republican is qualified to run this country, it’s McCain. With that concession, I’d expect the same respect from you.

At the risk of making this column sound like an eighth-grade essay, to sum things up, go on with your own life. Like I said in my last column, the sky isn’t falling. It will stay put if you allow it.

And if you’re truly, deeply disappointed with the outcome of this election, there are hundreds of other countries you can move to. America isn’t your only option, but it’s probably your best.

And if it’s a consolation, here’s something the majority of Americans will be glad to celebrate — Tuesday marks the beginning of the official end to the war-mongering, economy-trashing, liberty-taking, mind-numbing Bush era.

Now, doesn’t your brain feel better?

Christina saw a bumper sticker she can believe in. “Obamanos!” E-mail her your best Spanish-infused election pun at christina.caldwell@asu.edu.