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One woman ventures on a quest to settle her personal vendetta against those who destroyed her life.
“It’s mercy, compassion and forgiveness I lack. Not rationality,” she says.
The woman in question is Uma Thurman in the movie Kill Bill. She enters the world of suburbia to fight to the death with Vivica A. Fox.
The brawl ends with Fox dead as her four-year-old daughter walks into the room.
“You can take my word for it,” Thurman tells the girl. “Your mother had it comin’. When you grow up, if you still feel raw about it, I’ll be waitin’.”
Here, the saying appears to be true, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”
But really, what determines the differences between a qualified avenger and a psychopath?
For some, it’s time to realize constant plotting and a closet full of voodoo dolls may not cure all wounds.
“Since we are young, we are force-fed two different messages,” says Richard Fey, an ASU sociology teacher whose specialty focuses on family roles, relationships, crime and deviance.
“It’s one of those weird dichotomous views we have in society that tells us we are supposed to seek revenge and hurt those who are against us. And yet once we commit revenge we feel very empty.”
The idea of revenge has been exploited in the media and it has affected personal relationships. It is seen as a viable option for what we should do, he says.
The idea of “an eye for an eye” has been significant since biblical times, though some actions may be more socially justified than others.
“I do think there are more social rationalizations when a woman commits revenge,” he says. “If a man did something wrong [in a relationship], it’s just her standing up for herself. If she did something wrong, it is said that he could just walk away.” This is perhaps because the woman is traditionally more dependant on the man, he explains.
“We get locked in our worlds,” he says. “We feel that if any change happens, we need to correct that.”
Sociology sophomore Kody Holmes says he doesn’t believe anything deserves revenge and the act of it would likely result in a constant battle between two sides.
Despite the fact that he would never go to any extremes to avenge his car, which has been keyed, he says he would try to find a creative way to make the person feel bad.
Holmes says he feels that people who seek revenge lack coping mechanisms. Many people see the double-edged sword of revenge where you may feel the instant gratification; however there is always the chance of it coming back around, he says.
In the classic cheating scenario of revenge, many feel the need to “get even” as a justification. Fey says that two mistakes do not give a solution to the problem and usually result in more couples therapy.
Leah*, a marketing junior, sought revenge on her ex after they’d broken up. “My ex always was suspicious that me and his best friend were going behind his back,” she says. “We broke up because he was so paranoid. So once we did, I figured, why not make it true?”
Fey says that this did not cause any positive results for either party and Leah only confirmed her boyfriend’s doubts that she had these feelings all along.
“I have no regrets about it,” Leah says. “Though the only good part about sleeping with his friend was to give my ex a complex.”
Fey says that he doesn’t see revenge as a selfish act, yet there is a link to self-esteem and “in a warped way it is a form of self preservation.”
In the film Revenge of the Nerds, the underdog perservers but through showing value and self-worth, Fey says. It’s not a violent revenge, but a display of self-worth to be more successful.
You can right the wrong to make them hurt the way they hurt someone else. But revenge can also show how to live better, Fey says.
“I think that revenge doesn’t really do the job that people are looking for,” says journalism junior Lauren Hammond. “Usually after someone uses [it] they hope to feel better but really there is more anger and hurt than before. I think the best way to get rid of problems is to forgive.”
The differences in your reaction can also be a better form of revenge, Fey says. Rising above the situation and walking away from it is also a form of self-preservation, maturity and intelligence.
“How you deal with it after the event will determine whether we are animals or rational human beings,” he says.
*name changed.
