Spring break plans are ready to be made and party reputations are set to be preserved — now is that time of year to book your flight and hotel accommodations for the week you won’t remember.

If for any reason you are having trouble getting into the third-world country of your choice, then you should consider some alternatives.

While many of these destinations are off the beaten-path or even banned for civilian travel by the federal government, nothing screams about how provocative and interesting of a human being you are more than an unusual experience in an exotic locale.

Detroit, Michigan
Witness the end of Henry Ford’s legacy as the last American cars roll off the assembly lines to face the Japanese juggernaut, Toyota. Be sure to watch out for pollution during the day and narcotic-related homicides during the night.

Baghdad, Iraq
Finally get a glimpse of what Mesopotamia looks like, but keep in mind that it’s still under reconstruction. Locals can be hostile to Americans so keep your patriotism low-key. Keep an eye out for WMDs — if you actually find any, the press will host a welcome party at your arrival gate at Phoenix’s Sky Harbor International Airport. And if you hear anyone say Taliban, or Al-Qaida, I only have one word for you: run.

French Canada
If you think of yourself as freethinking and independent, go colder, not warmer, this spring break. From what I hear, you can watch a hockey game, meet a moose, live in an igloo and control a strong urge to be American, but always remember to practice your “s’il vous plaît”s and “merci”s, because French Canadians are famous for being polite. Another plus to migrating north is that there is always the exciting option of a weekend side-trip to Sarah Palin land.

Antarctic Peninsula
Another spring-break destination that is good for those people who like to travel atypical tourist spots — and it will only be available for a limited time. Stay inland and watch out for breaking ice shelves and polar bears — they’re getting desperate.

Tucson
Last but not least, the home of the Wildcats. It’s just a short drive south to visit your friends who disappear when we beat them in Pac-10 play. Actually, don’t stop, don’t collect $200 — just pass the Mexican border and keep on driving.

As you can see, there are all kinds of imaginative and adventure-filled vacations you can embark upon this spring break, even if it means not heeding Homeland Security’s colored-coded warnings. Happy planning, Sun Devils!

Melissa can be reached at melissa.silva@asu.edu.