Harvard graduates are often among the most intelligent people in the U.S., and normally, bright futures await them once they get that diploma in their hands.

Some will work to cure cancer, some will go on to lead our nation and others will form ridiculous bands, make subpar music and never live up to the hype that surrounds said band.

Recent Harvard grads Maxwell Drummey and D. A. Wallach already have the band part of that list locked down, so their fellow grads need not worry about what their futures hold.

Drummey, the man behind the instruments, and Wallach, the band’s lead singer, met while studying at the Ivy League institution, formed the synth-pop outfit Chester French and eventually signed to rapper Pharrell’s personal label, Star Trak Records.

Upon signing them, Pharrell said, “You’re going to watch history unfold with these guys. I feel it in my gut.”

It’s a lofty statement, but the next “big thing” always has believers before the mainstream catches on, right? Yes, but unfortunately the band’s debut release, “Love the Future,” falls quite short of these expectations and lands as nothing more than a monumental disappointment.

After the short foreign language track “Introduction,” the album comes stumbling out of the gate with “C’mon (On My Own),” and we’re immediately introduced to Chester French’s shortcomings.

As Wallach’s vocals soar, the instrumentation is barely audible and acts as an anchor — it only exists to bring the song down. There are no layers or true displays of musicianship, just a muted, synthesized beat off in the distance.

The kindergarten lyrics that permeate this track, and the whole album, should serve as an embarrassment to the English professors at their elite alma mater.

Lines like “You wanna run it all / so you can really ball” and “Don’t wanna hold your hand / just wanna be a man,” are laughable at best.

“Bebe Buell” is more of the same — the lyrics are not worthy of being printed, and the instrumentation is again weak. Wallach’s voice is a bit shrill but solid nonetheless, but the poor musicianship does him a disservice and truly ruins the entire album.

“Love the Future” does have its brief moments of excellence, though.

“The Jimmy Choos” is somewhat of an opus for the band — the music sounds full and supports the vocals and is extremely engaging. “She Loves Everybody” opens with a killer bass riff and again, the backing band seems to be on the same level as the vocals. These two tracks tend to get lost in the mess that surrounds them, though.

The lyrics throughout sound like a consistent joke that no one is laughing at, and the songs all sound as though they are remodeled versions of the previous song. The lack of creativity that is translated from the songs is staggering.

So whether it’s the stupidly simple rhymes of “Time to Unwind” — “I’ve spent my day / trying to get my lay” or the ridiculous ode to “cougars” that is “People,” this album and this band offer nothing of value to anyone.

If Chester French is, in fact, the next “big thing,” it will only signify that the music world is in a desperate situation, and one thing is certain — no one is going to love that future.

Reach the reporter at jdfourni@asu.edu.