Another year has come and gone. For every great movie of 2010, there was an equally excruciating one. Today I'm getting my money’s revenge on Hollywood by counting down the 10 worst movies of 2010.
10. “Jonah Hex” This is laziest and most forgettable of all recent comic book adaptations. Despite its inexplicable plot and poor production values, “Jonah Hex” makes the unwise choice to play the entire movie with a poker face. The only high point is Josh Brolin, who manages to bring some class to his performance as the brooding, self-righteous title character. Other than that we get some truly lackluster work from Megan Fox, who demonstrates more than ever that performing is not here strong suit.
9. “The Bounty Hunter” A more appropriate title for “The Bounty Hunter” would have been, “Jennifer Aniston plays with her hair and Gerard Butler tries to act romantic but just looks like he wants to chop somebody’s head off.” The plot is as formulaic as they come. Butler and Aniston yell at each other, run from each other and drive golf carts into lakes, because getting wet is always funny, right? Then, despite their incompatibility, the two still end up together in the end. Is any of it funny, romantic or charming? Not in the slightest.
8. “Grown Ups” Despite their long string of uninspired comedies, Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade and Rob Schneider are all capable of being funny. So was it too much for me to keep an open mind and hope that “Grown Ups” would have at least a few funny moments? Apparently. The film features loads of humor revolving around breast-feeding a 4-year-old, relations with a senior citizen, and not one, but two, O.J. Simpson gags.
7. “Cop Out” Bruce Willis and Tracey Morgan play two cops that have been partners for nine years. But they have about as much chemistry as two people who met only five minutes ago. “Cop Out” comes fully equipped with every buddy-cop cliché in the book. The problem with “Cop Out” is that it never seizes the opportunity to satirize these clichés. Instead we just get a lot of uninspired action sequences and tiresome comedy bits. What’s even more surprising is that the film’s director is Kevin Smith, who has made one great movie after another. At least Smith isn’t responsible for writing the film’s laugh-free screenplay.
6. “Killers” One thing is for certain about Ashton Kutcher: If there were an award for the most overacting on movie posters, he’d take the gold every year. This guy can barely get through a sentence without smiling at the camera, making him the most unlikely actor to play a professional assassin in “Killers,” the only action romantic comedy of the year that was worse than “The Bounty Hunter.” For the first act of “Killers” we see glimpses of a potentially exciting and sexy romp. But whatever fuel “Killers” has runs out fairly quickly as the film unearths its plot, which goes from inexplicable to annoying to flat-out unbearable.
5. “Sex and the City 2” I love “Sex and the City.” I even went out and bought the $200 collector’s DVD set. “Sex and the City 2,” however, is a needless follow-up that makes the audience hate the very character they once loved. What I find truly degrading about this movie though is that it pretends to embrace the female sex, when all it really does is depict women as whiny, self-absorbed, and needy.
4. “You Again” Believe it or not, there was another movie this year even more contrived than “Sex and the City 2,” and it was called “You Again,” a painfully unfunny alleged comedy that makes you feel dumber as you endure it. Kristen Bell plays Marni, a successful businesswoman who returns home to learn her brother is marrying her high school nemesis, Joanna. “You Again” adds another level of idiocy to the plot when Joanna’s aunt is introduced to Marni’s mother. It’s revealed that these two were once best friends turned rivals after a senior prom incident. Did the planets line up?
3. “Marmaduke” As much as I hate to admit it, I did sit through all of “Marmaduke.” Even more amazingly I managed to do it without killing myself. Looking back on the ordeal though, I at least wish that I had done myself the courtesy of walking out of the theater. It’s hard to imagine that a producer saw a Marmaduke comic strip and said, “Now here’s a movie!” The film is just further evidence that Hollywood will attempt to stretch anything into a feature.
2. “I Spit on Your Grave” “I Spit on Your Grave” is a film every bit as vile and despicable as the title suggests. This is a malevolent piece of filth that attempts to pass off the raping of an innocent woman as a good time at the movies. If you want to see a great horror remake that came out in 2010, check out “Let Me In” or “The Crazies.” If you see “I Spit on Your Grave,” you risk never wanting to sit through another movie again.
1. “The Last Airbender” Not since “Batman & Robin” in 1997 has a director taken a great license and crucified it in a more unholy fashion. Whatever charm the original animated series had is lost in this unbearably boring live-action interpretation that provides not a single moment of wit or imagination in it’s whole running time. I could forgive the film’s severe miscasting, senseless direction, distractingly flashy visuals, and inaccuracy to the series if only Shamalan had managed to pronounce the main character’s name correctly.
Reach the reporter at nspake@asu.edu.
