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The return of Arnold Schwarzenegger can't save 'Terminator: Genisys' from the machine takeover

(Photo courtesy of imbd.com)

(Photo courtesy of imbd.com)


“Terminator: Genisys” ends up being great evidence that any future franchise reboots of any stripe need to be terminated immediately in pre-production.

The film is willing to try and mess with an already convoluted timeline, yet ends up being a trap, as the movie then spends a good half of its running time trying to justify its existence.

You would think that Hollywood would have learned from the disastrous “Total Recall” remake and “Terminator Salvation that updating an Arnold Schwarzenegger classic with hot young stars and PG-13 action only creates a lifeless product that screams machine-like blandness.

Instead of thinking long and hard about playing big budget Mad Libs with whatever blockbuster film of 20 years ago, the filmmakers of “Terminator: Genisys” simply believe that the problem is not the foundation, but the ingredients.

They seem to think that the formula will work this time because Arnold Schwarzenegger has a starring role and the old magic will be back. Have no fear moviegoers, because it is still not.

What’s interesting is that Schwarzenegger is actually the best part of this film. A 68-year-old terminator sounds ridiculous, but it in fact works well due to Schwarzenegger’s killer comedic timing and ability to come off as just human enough to make audiences root for a supposed killing machine.

Even the idea of the terminator playing father to Sarah Connor ends up coming across great onscreen, mainly because Arnold’s advancing age allows him to leave a fatherly imprint on the performance.

But even in a movie about futuristic machines, the signs of an aging franchise badly showing. The film strains to explain why Kyle Reese ends up in a different timeline from previous films, and how John Connor has been able to jump around both as the film’s big baddie and as the tech developer behind Genisys.

Even worse, the film treats time travel as just an excuse to jump from one time to another with no time to properly invest in what’s unfolding on the screen.

Outside of Arnold, none of the actors make much of an impression either. Emilia Clarke is badly miscast as woman-warrior Sarah Connor; she can’t match the gravitas Linda Hamilton brought to the role of Sarah Connor in “Terminator 2: Judgment Day.”

Jai Courtney is the definition of a blank slate as Kyle Reese, save for a few moments when he’s allowed to display a sarcastic sense of humor.

J.K. Simmons gives an alright performance that the film brushes aside and Jason Clarke isn’t given much to do besides look menacing and rant about how Skynet will be triumphant.

These actors have to deal with a script that makes them look downright unlikeable and dumb. Add in a confounding ending and it gets even worse. I won’t spoil anything, except to say that it is an insult to the entire film before it and ends on a vague sequel hook that I consider more insulting than enticing.

Add in some basic blockbuster action and you’re left with a product that makes you feel as cold as a machine, only with disappointment or boredom programmed instead of happiness or joy.

Read about the adventures of joy and happiness from Pixar's "Inside Out" here.

It’s no coincidence that one of the few times the audience laughed was at a man in the first row snoring; with a terminator this toothless, they all knew there was no danger laughing in its face.

Reach the reporter at jagger.czajka@asu.edu or follow @JaggerCzajka on Twitter.

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