Today is Pink Out day, an important day to show support for Planned Parenthood. Even as this non-profit organization’s government funding sits on the chopping block, it has distributed a series of videos about sexual consent that I wish every single person would watch.
Thank you, Planned Parenthood. These videos are much needed in a time when people believe in the feasibility of “implied consent," as the 1960s "free love" has transformed into casually hooking up with strangers.
Like almost all sexual education videos, this series leaves the watcher wondering if certain parts were supposed to be funny, but settled for a cross between silly, awkward and serious.
It reminded me of watching a video of a mom drawing a uterus with pancake mix in my cringe-worthy fifth grade sex education class. As the narrator sneaks out of the shadowy background, unbeknownst to the couples, and whispers commentary on their sexual encounter, you begin to wonder if this dude should be the one representing consent. Not to mention, the music in the videos brings back memories of building houses on "Sims 3." But, I digress.
Ultimately, this forward thinking video, featuring diversity and varied sexualities, really demonstrates how sexual education can seem so rudimentary.
The content sounds so basic and obvious, but the harsh reality is that some people need to be taken back to elementary school for adult lessons in the bedroom.
To celebrate this irony, I have compiled a list of a few lessons from your kindergarten teacher that can also apply to sex:
Keep your hands to yourself and respect the personal bubble.
If you are not prompted to be touched by an individual, don’t touch them. Don’t grab their hand, much less their cheeks (at either longitude).
Use your words.
Instead of just acting without consent, use your words to indicate what you want.
Treat others the way you want to be treated.
Pleasing the other person leads to pleasing yourself during healthy sexual intercourse.
Don’t cry when you don’t get your way.
Whining and complaining can quickly turn into manipulation and guilt-tripping. These reactions are never welcome when it comes to getting sexual consent.
Primarily, I think it is incredibly important that these videos stress the necessity of adhering to and paying attention to body language between sexual partners. Consent is not just about words. Body language is just as much an important indicator of consent, according to the Planned Parenthood video.
Speaking from personal experience, it is very difficult to be a passive, non-confrontational person when you are being pursued against your wishes. Certain people will rely first and most heavily on body language because of their personalities and that is okay. They shouldn’t need to improve at sending the pursuer more signals. Pursuers should pay closer attention to the moods and nonverbal communication of other people.
As the Planned Parenthood video tells us, body language can say a lot if you pay attention. In this touch-and-go society, I feel that reading other people’s attitudes is becoming a lost art. So let’s draw the line. Paying attention to body language is essential for healthy inter-personal relations.
Planned Parenthood perfectly demonstrates this in watered down pre-sex scenes. I hope you all watch these videos, pass them on, and imagine a bald, buff, black dude hiding in your closet, waiting to hear consent before you and your partner do the nasty.
Related Links:
Planned Parenthood protestors, supporters face off outside of Phoenix Planned Parenthood office
Save Planned Parenthood: shut down the government
Reach the columnist at ralydfor@asu.edu or follow @ralydford on Twitter.
Editor’s note: The opinions presented in this column are the author’s and do not imply any endorsement from The State Press or its editors.
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