In the past year of college, more specifically the past semester, I have seen myself have higher highs and lower lows.
Honestly, from the perspective of an anxious person, every time I feel myself getting an anxiety attack, I cry. This is not only because it's the only way I know to immediately let out my emotions, but because I am so disappointed. Not necessarily in myself, but simply in the fact that I was doing so well.
Not only am I trying to calm myself down and hoping I don't go full-fledged panic attack, but I am trying not to cry my eyes out from the familiarity of the situation.
Even writing this right now makes me upset because I am only on day one of days post-panic attack. Yes, that is a thing I mark down in my calendar and write in my notes. It's a reminder that I have a long way to go, but I can get through this.
I can promise you that nobody wants to be hyperventilating and choking on their tears after watching Netflix or hanging out with their significant other, but sometimes things happen. Sometimes, anxiety can creep up on you in ways you wish it wouldn't.
But, it's getting past the disappointment and fear of when the next panic attack is coming and living your life as best you can that makes everything OK. Once you let yourself dwell on how awful you feel and how disappointing the experience was, you let anxiety win. Don't.
Sincerely,
An Anxious College Girl
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