I’m all for girl-power and independence, which is why I’m
writing this from Phoenix while my life-long friends, family and boyfriend are
in New York. But I’m worried that some people are taking independence a bit too
seriously.
This weekend someone criticized me for watching football
with my boyfriend even though I hate football. They said that I’m changing my
personality and losing my independence by succumbing to the high expectations
that men want from women.
Uh… I don’t watch football because I’m afraid my boyfriend
won’t like me if I don’t. I watch
football because I’m happy when I make my boyfriend happy, and if that takes
sitting on the couch trying to understand who’s on defense and what a
cornerback is, then so be it.
He loves sitting on the couch and watching the game with me,
so that’s what I’m going to do. I’m not selling my soul, I’m just giving up an
hour of time to make my guy happy, and he does the same for me.
Extreme feminists refuse to conform to the typical female
stereotype where they cook, clean or let men open the door for them because
they can do it themselves. Independence and equality are imperative to healthy
women and healthy relationships, but take into consideration that not all acts
are done because of your gender. Kind acts are done simply because someone
loves you.
If my boyfriend holds the door open for me, I don’t ever
think it’s because he believes I can’t do it myself. In fact, he would hold it
for the next guy that walks through the door too, because it’s a nice
thing to do.
If my boyfriend wants another slice of pizza, I’m going to get him
one not because it’s my duty as a woman to serve him, but because I know he had
a long day and I want to make him happy. It's not because I’m scared he’ll leave me
if I don’t, but because I love him.
It is important to remain independent in a relationship, but
also considerate. If your partner asks you to convert religions and get a
tattoo, that’s abusing the power of love. You and your partner should genuinely
want to do everything in your power for each other, and want the other to live
as contently as possible. I don’t do typical things like cooking and cleaning
and pretending to like football because I feel that I need to as a woman, I
just want to be a considerate and appreciated girlfriend.
Be happy that you’ve found someone who makes you want to
watch football or The Notebook. Be grateful that you have someone who
appreciates everything you do for them, and actually does thoughtful things for you
too. Independence and equality are essential, but sometimes it’s refreshing to
just be nice.