“The Dark Knight” wasn’t as good as you think it is.

Oh (censored). No he didn’t!  Yes actually, yes he did.

If I wanted to watch a two and a half hour movie with too many villains and an unnecessarily complicated plot, I’d probably just turn off the TV.

Chris Nolan, the not-so-super director. Photo courtesy of fusedfilm.com

Chris Nolan is the kind of director who relies on a lot of “look at how complex I am” kind of tactics. He uses excessive effects and explosions to take away from the fact that his plots are fairly simple.

So you guys know Chris Nolan right?  Let me guess, you loved “The Dark Knight,” and you loved “Inception” (what was going on with that ending?! OMG!?!)

I’m a little tired of the Nolan buzz, to be completely honest, but I can understand where it’s all coming from.

Christopher Nolan directing. Photo courtesy of IMDB.com.

In terms of superhero movie quality, Nolan is right on top. What Bryan Singer was during the X-men heyday (wicked rad), Chris Nolan now is now for superhero movies.

Warner Bros. has been complete geniuses by attaching him as producer to the new Superman movie.  This helps take some of the responsibility off the shoulders of Zack Snyder (remember how I said he can’t do plot, well just look at “Suckerpunch”).

So yeah, guess I’m turning this into Zack Snyder week, and why not?

This week, “Sucker Punch” hits theatres, and I’m all over it. But I can honestly say I have no idea what it’s about.

So from what I’ve gathered, six chicks are in a mental facility, and they decide to imagine they’re fighting their way out of it. This leads to wicked ninja fights and machine guns and so on and so forth.

Wait, you mean I get to put a photo of Jon Hamm AND Carla Gugino? I need to lie down… Photo Courtesy of Warner Bros.

I have no idea where this story could possibly go, and that’s what intrigues me so much.

So Zack Snyder has been pegged to do the new Superman movie. Yes, after four Christopher Reeve movies, one Bryan Singer movie to supposedly fit in with that canon, and several solid cartoon movies, we’re starting all over again.

To be honest, I don’t mind it.

Here I go losing a nerd-credibility point, but I have never seen any of the Reeve Super-movies. I know that Gene Hackman was probably pretty rad, but I just can’t commit myself to actually watching them.

No, Jon Hamm isn’t the new Superman, but a guy can wish can’t he? Image drawn by Phil Noto.

Also, doesn’t Richard Pryor show up by the third or fourth? Cause yeah, no thank you.

So, let’s start from the top.  Last time, I explained a little bit of the problems faced with Julie Taymor and the Spider-Man musical.  Today I’m going to lay the blame on Bono and The Edge.

Now let me explain myself. I love me some ’80s U2.  ”The Joshua Tree” album is pretty sweet, and most of their music back when they were having  fun is rad.

If sacrifices had to be made, I say drop the guy on the right. Image courtesy of Spider-Man on Broadway's official site.

Then things got serious. Look at songs like “The Sweetest Thing” and “Walk On” and tell me it’s not overly emotional crap.

Then Bono decided to be hip or deep and count to four in Spanish with the word “catorce.”  I’m sorry 14, but you lost me.

With the last posts before spring break, we’re all concerned about our last tests before we get out of here. So, what I’m going to provide is all the failure of one potentially great idea so you can get failure out of your system before you destroy those tests!

Does my backwards logic make sense? Moving on…

“Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark” is an interesting idea, to say the least. Julie Taymor (that crazy director of “The Lion King” on Broadway and the movie “Across the Universe”) was attached to direct the musical about the web-slinger, and Bono and the Edge (of U2 fame) would provide the music.

No seriously, that’s what this is supposed to look like. Image courtesy of Vogue Magazine.

What could possibly go wrong?

Hey! Remember the guy in the picture? Well if you do, then we can be friends. If you don’t, just move along…

Last time (link), I told you how Boom Studios was pulling all of your favorite ’90s ridiculousness and making them into comics.

Go bonkers for the "Bonkers" comic. Image from Giantbomb.com.

Well, they’ve just been getting started, so there’s still so much more for them to do.

For some reason, my warped mind immediately wants a Bonkers comic book. The crime fighting cheetah in Toon Town would fit perfectly into the mold of modern comics.

It’s the week before the week of spring break. Do you know what that means? Absolutely nothing.

So, you know how most of the time I talk about comics being adapted into properties that you wouldn’t normally expect? Well, as we’ve firmly established, comics sometimes cross mediums, whether it’s into movies, video games, TV, or what have you.

The duck version of Batman. Photo courtesy of Boom Studios.

Sometimes though, comics accept licensed properties into their fold and the entire process works backwards.

Look to Star Trek, Star Wars, G.I. Joe, Transformers, and just a crap load of other properties that I don’t feel to mention right now.