It's that time of year again, when freshmen and their families swarm campus with plans to transform 12-foot-by-12-foot cells, err, dorm rooms into livable homes away from home.
Most freshmen have simple dreams of STD urban legends and broken elevators dancing in their heads as they settle into their new, cramped environments, but others will have to wait to realize this wonderland until their classmates' washout.
Almost 100 new students are shacking up at the Twin Palms hotel above IHOP on Apache Boulevard, unable to rid themselves of the smell of all-night maple syrup and hash brown grease wafting into their balconies, waiting until the freshmen who were lucky enough to get a permanent room freak out and run for home.
But hey, that's understandable, since the first 14 days at ASU are the most stressful: packed with parties, one-night stands, sleeping in and staying up late with no parents to cramp your style. Seems like pretty demanding "college stuff" to have to work out in such a short time.
Why the heck would these new students choose to remain here at ASU, with mommy and daddy footing the bill and almost nobody to hold them responsible for their actions? ASU Residential Life has realized how rough it is and banks on these All-stars to turn tail before the fun even really begins.
But McMaster University and Wilfred Laurier University in Canada have taken a radically different approach than Res Life. These two colleges are begging, even bribing, their students to live off campus.
Prior to this year, all Canadian students attended thirteen grades, but when Ontario eliminated the 13th grade, freshman enrollment in Ontario universities doubled. Ontario colleges have promised approximately 100 bed spaces above their maximum capacity. (Ironically, this is the very same number of occupants ASU counts on "weeding out" before the first test in most classes.)
According to www.cnn.com, Ontario offered $2,500 in incentives to sway some to give up their on-campus home. Students are being offered eight months of Blackberry service (a perk many corporate executives are trying to persuade their companies to offer), or a laptop or a desktop and a $500 meal plan credit to go with a $500 book credit. $2,500 in perks seems worth it, right? Well, I would think so, but with less than 10 of the 150 students living within busing distance of the campus taking the bait, I guess they will have to up the stakes.
So, here we come back to ASU. The savings at McMaster and Wilfred Laurier Universities would pay almost six months' rent for most of my buddies, and more than pay for the food necessary to pack on the "freshman 15."
Attention all ASU students who know that they are about to pack it up. Since ASU will probably penalize you and keep some of your money for "breaking your contract," maybe you should be a little more confident when withdrawing. Perhaps mentioning what Canada is doing would lighten some of your load...
So to you, Johnny Drop-Out, I recommend you do the only homework you will ever see in college and brush up on your negotiating skills before setting an appointment with your friendly Residential Life representative.
Matt Snowden is a finance senior. Reach him at matthew.snowden@asu.edu.
