Top 10 things to do after finals
Something about this semester has seemed particularly demanding, hasn’t it? As a result, in this final week of school, the campus has devolved into a frantic flurry of stressed-out, barely conscious education zombies. But it’s almost over. There is a light at the end of this tunnel, and it gets closer with each passing page of a Green Book.
The feeling of finishing your last final is one of the best in the world, and summer means you can do whatever you want afterwards, unless you have a busy job.
Here are the top ten things to do (in your free time) after you finish your final, finally.
10. Grab a drink, you deserve it!
You just finished pushing your body and mind to the breaking point. The last thing you want to worry about is chewing. So whether it’s a refreshing smoothie, a relaxing coffee, or a more adult beverage, sitting down and sipping your favorite drink is a great way to cap off your semester. If you’re unsure where to go, take a walk down College Avenue, and something is sure to catch your attention.
9. Watch every “Indiana Jones” movie, except “Crystal Skull.”
Not only are these classic films incredibly entertaining and infinitely rewatchable, but seeing how awesome the life of a learned professor can be will reassure you that the agony you’ve subjected yourself to will eventually be worth it.
Be like Indy, and go somewhere new. It’s not expensive if you take dangerous buses to South America or something. No matter where you go, adding to your schema of the world with new experiences is like hitting the refresh button on your mind. You’ll probably come back a better person, and maybe have a parasite to show off.
7. Get all of your clothes tailored.
And I do mean all of them. A properly fitting wardrobe is a great confidence booster, and anything can be tailored if you find the right place, even shoes. Yes, there are still cobblers. In fact, here’s one near you.
6. Learn a new language.
Not the first thing that comes to mind when imagining a worry-free summer, but again, mind expansion. With regular use of a Rosetta Stone (properly obtained or otherwise), you can become practically fluent by the end of summer. Not sure which language? I suggest Greek, that way you can read manuscripts and whatnot. ??????, ???????? ??????!
5. Read “One Hundred Years of Solitude.”
I can hear your groans already, but the recent death of Gabriel García Márquez, the Nobel Prize winning author of this seminal novel, doesn’t make it any less significant. I’m only halfway done, so please, no spoilers on the next 50 years of solitude.
4. Take a speed reading class.
Finish that book in less than a day by enrolling in a five-week-long ASU program that can apparently triple your reading speed and drastically increase comprehension. Enroll here for $329.
3. Volunteer on a political campaign.
Midterm elections are approaching and campaign season is in full swing. Do a service to yourself and your community and get involved in any local or statewide election you think deserves your time. Go here for more information on two such campaigns for Tempe City Council candidates, Lauren Kuby, and Robin Arredondo-Savage, and learn how you can help out.
2. Become paleo.
Make yourself a pair of huaraches out of an old car tire, and use them to climb trees, chase animals, and lift big rocks for exercise. Eat a lot of fruits and vegetables and a moderate amount of meat. Avoid soy, grains, dairy and artificial foods. Do these things, and you’ll be a healthy protohuman by the time classes start again.
Need I say more?
Have a great summer everybody!
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