RIP to the fallen pens


Losing something as simple as a pen is trivial to many. It cost a few dollars to buy a pack of 50, and it will probably last you about 50 years. Well people, I’m here to tell you to appreciate every one of those little wonders because you don’t know how great you have it.

See, restaurants are the place where pens go to die. An innocent pen could fall to the ground and disappear into oblivion. I’m not saying that it’s always supernatural circumstances, but I’d be surprised if there wasn’t something there. 

The other day, one of my best pens fell on the floor as I was clearing a table. I left it there for a total of 3 minutes, and it disappeared into thin air. It wasn’t swept up. It wasn’t under the table, but wherever it is it will always be remembered.

Now there are plenty of rational reasons for why a server’s pen would disappear. Sometimes, after dropping the check it can take a little longer to go back to recover your pens. 

And I’ll be the first to admit that if I see a random pen with no home, I will hold onto it. And there are some who will just steal their coworkers’ pens. Whatever the case, they have found a new home in the pouches of another server and you will never see them again.

Thankfully, many servers have a code of conduct when it comes to pens. The real threat is the customers. More often then not, they will be the ones who steal the pens. On more than one occasion I have seen people put my pen in their bag, thinking that their theft is somehow okay. 

Let me tell you this, pen stealers, most servers pay for their own pens. We can walk into a shift with 10 pens and leave with one. 

If I have more than one table, which is the goal, then that’s one more thing that comes between me and my tips. So next time your server leaves you a nice pen, don’t even think about it.