"Why does a dog wag its tail? Because a dog is smarter than its tail. If the tail were smarter, the tail would wag the dog."
So begins the witty political satire, "Wag the Dog." The plot revolves around a Washington spinster (played by Robert DeNiro) who attempts to bolster support for a president who has just been caught in a sex scandal (unlike Enron, sex is actually interesting, but not unlike Enron, it's still scandalous). To do so, DeNiro enlists the aid of one of Hollywood's top producers (played by Dustin Hoffman).
Together they team up to produce a war (one that never happened) in an obscure country (like Afghanistan). They make a hero out of a criminal, tape a touching video of a child escaping mayhem (while holding a kitten, no less), and let loose a washed up country singer to spark patriotism in the American public.
When I first saw the movie I would have scoffed at the notion that it could happen in real life. Now I'm not so sure.
A week ago plans were hatched in the military's Office of Strategic Influence to plant false reports in the overseas press.
Shortly thereafter we learn from Variety that Jerry Bruckheimer (producer of such smash hits as "Top Gun," "Pearl Harbor" and "Coyote Ugly") and Bertram van Munster (of the TV show "Cops") will be collaborating with the Pentagon to manufacture a docu-drama about the war on terrorism. This "reality" series, airing on ABC, will profile the lives of American troops abroad.
Now we hear that NBC's special, "The Bush White House: Inside the Real West Wing," provides us with a dose of fantasy mixed in with the fact. Aaron Sorkin (creator of "The West Wing") informed The New Yorker that "The White House pumped up the president's schedule to show him being much busier and more engaged than he is."
Real journalism has nearly ground to a halt in the face of these and other network productions. Military reporters working in Afghanistan are quarantined in warehouses. They are allowed only the most restricted access to Special Operations troops and are supervised all the while.
What these journalists manage to send home for our consumption is essentially a press release. Journalists are issued information from Central Command in Florida detailing the minutiae occurring just outside their door.
All of these precautions are taken to keep journalists and cameramen "safe" (and well away from anything actually newsworthy). What the government doesn't seem to realize is the safety excuse is a flimsy one.
For all the government's efforts, the fact remains that more journalists have been killed in Afghanistan than American soldiers.
There is no accountability if the "free" press is hamstrung and left to rot in military strongholds.
What we have is essentially censorship of the war in Afghanistan. It ensures that we hear only what the military wants us to. We hear about the triumphs, but not the faults. When soldiers killed 16 Afghan men under false presumptions it was the independent press, not the government that brought it to our attention.
The reality is a war in the far-flung reaches of the earth marketed with military recruitment videos by a trumped up president.
It's no wonder why the Pentagon is rolling out the camouflage carpet for television networks while reporters are sweating it out and dodging bullets in Afghanistan (under the watchful eye of Uncle Sam).
Networks are busy helping the American people forget about the mammoth increase in military spending and all the while bolstering our president's ego. That's good for business in Washington and for the flagging networks that are capitalizing on our patriotism.
But, "Somebody's got to question whether it's a good idea to limit independent reporting on the battlefield and access of journalists to U.S. military personnel and then conspire with Hollywood," says Dan Rather (of CBS). I have been.
Rather goes on to say that he's "outraged about the Hollywoodization of the military." But, he's not talking about the fictitious storylines fed to the foreign press, or the White House extravaganza featuring his rival Tom Brokaw (of NBC), or even the Bruckenheimer docu-drama.
He's talking about yet another TV special, this time on VH1. The special, entitled the "Military Diaries Project," will feature 60 soldiers starring in a cutesy war movie.
The White House and the Pentagon are hoping to show us "comic book versions of a messy, dirty war" as Muareen Dowd of The New York Times puts it. Thus far the media has played along, but discontent is growing in their ranks.
War correspondents can only be hamstrung in their attempts to gather the nitty-gritty for so long before stories begin to seep out (as they already have).
The American public will only believe in fairy tales for so long before their cynical side (currently masked by patriotism) shows itself.
Reading the news will give you a general idea about the "War on Terrorism," but if you really want to know what's going on I'd suggest that you skip the docu-dramas and rent "Wag the Dog."
As the cover says, it's "a comedy about truth, justice and other special effects."
North Noelck is a biology sophomore. Reach him at north.noelck@asu.edu.
