ALTHOUGH IT PAINS me to admit it in this public arena, I watch the soap opera "Passions" on a regular basis.
There, I said it. But now that it's out in the air, I don't really care. I do what I like and I like what I do, and there is nothing that makes me happier on my weekday afternoons than watching all of those sappy romantics on the show try to make some sense out of their tragedy-laden lives.
I began watching three years ago, the day after my best friend, Cherie, invited me to come with her to visit the set of the new show that her dad, Vic the prop guy, was working on. I hesitantly agreed because I vehemently believed that watching soap operas was something that bored housewives did in between vacuuming their foyers and attending Jazzercise classes.
Even though we were cynical, Cherie and I played along and acted like any other crazed fans on the set. We took our pictures in the faux town jail, in the Astroturf park, and with some of the show's characters; notably, with Miguel (Jesse Metcalfe), the dreamy adolescent son of Pilar the maid. Due to the kindness of everyone on the set and the sheer novelty of it all, I felt an obligation to at least give "Passions" a chance.
It only took one episode to get me hooked. The plot line is brilliantly ridiculous. It all centers around the lives of the residents of a quaint New England town called Harmony, where it seems to be a rite of passage to either have amnesia, die several times and come back to life, or have an unrequited love affair with someone from the other side of the tracks.
The characters' lives are so far-fetched at times that they're humorous. For instance, the town doctor, Eve Russell, serves as the emergency room doctor, OBGyn, hypno-therapist, psychologist, and when Theresa Lopez Fitzgerald was sentenced to die by lethal injection, Dr. Russell was there to administer the poison. Then there's Tabitha and Timmy, the witch and her enchanted doll/boy come to life who spend their days casting spells, fighting demons, and reeking general havoc on the town.
(Unfortunately, after this article was written, the day after Timmy rescued Charity from a frozen block of ice and died a tragic death on the show, in an ironic twist of fate, Josh Ryan Evans, the pint-sized 20-year-old who portrayed the character, died of heart failure.)
RECENTLY, I FOUND out that I am not the only person who is caught up in this frenzy. In fact, compared to a lot of people, I only have a mild case of "Passions" fever.
Last month I was invited to cover the Passions Fan Club Convention at Universal Studios in California. When I pitched the idea to my editor, I made up some line of bull honkey about how it was going to be a cool kitschy glimpse into some strange world of weirdoes. But deep-down, I knew that I was going to love being there as much as everyone else.
I was completely unprepared for the crowd that met me at Universal Studios at 8 a.m. that Saturday. One of the first people I talked to was Danielle Schultz, a 16-year-old from Wisconsin. She was covered head-to-toe in home-made "Passions" garb; her t-shirt displayed the shows star-crossed lovers Luis and Sheridan in a sensuous embrace.
"All I want is for Luis and Sheridan to get back together," she says nonchalantly, "They're the best couple on TV."
Later on, I was informed by an observant attendee that at last year's convention, Danielle was the recipient of a kiss on the cheek from none other than Luis himself, and there was speculation amongst the fans as to who this year's lucky one was going to be.
ONE OF THE highlights of the day was the question-and-answer session. Every inquiry and reply was filled with inside jokes about plot lines and character experiences and was followed by uproarious laughter and applause from the entire crowd. Then, it was George's turn.
The 30-something in a dress shirt and khaki pants took the question microphone with great sincerity.
"Each year I take time to recollect and this year I want to reflect on how one person from God can get us to go out there and the drive to do what we want to do. This person influences what I do when I wake up in the morning and when I go to sleep at night," George says.
"I just want to say that Molly Stanton has done everything right here in my heart to guide me every day. Molly has driven me so much. I'm a musician. So around March æ March 13 is her birthday æ I sent her my songs and I don't know if you got them but I played all the instruments on them. I just want to say how much you have impacted my life. God's greatest gift to me, actually. Thank you, thank you."
Molly, who plays the roles of both Charity Standish and her evil zombie clone, was remarkably unfazed by the profession of love from George
"I don't know what to say to that, but, you're so lovely. I just thank you and good luck," she replies in a honey-soaked voice.
George's final comment both confuses and amuses me more than everything else combined.
"It's crazy, but, I don't know why. In a way you remind me of Britney Spears."
What?! How could this guy pour his heart out to this girl and put her on this pedestal normally reserved for deity, and then compare her to Britney Spears? Nobody else seemed to see the irony in the situation. They all just continued to whoop it up.
I MET THE most interesting people while waiting in line for autographs. Brian Wilson (no relation to the eccentric Beach Boy), a 24-year-old who looks like he has stumbled into the "Passions" gathering on his way to a "Star Trek" convention, explains to me how he ended up watching daytime television.
"I read about the show in a sci-fi magazine. So I watched the first episode and I was hooked," he says. "There are a lot of super natural elements with Tabitha the witch that keep me watching the show."
I ask him if he has ever had the chance to meet any of his favorite celebrities before.
"One time I got to go backstage at a Metallica concert," he replies. "That was pretty cool."
There is also Amparo Sosa and Mary Lozano, two working moms from Riverside, Calif., who are giving advice on what to do for when there is simply no time available in the week to watch the show.
"'Passions' is a part of my life," Amparo explains. "Since I have to work, I have it taped every day and have a little marathon on the weekends."
The rest of the day is spent meeting and greeting the stars. I get a couple of " Yeah, sure" responses when I try to differentiate myself from the rest of the crowd by explaining that I am writing a story, and Miguel gives me a kind of strange look. But other than that, everyone is genuinely nice and seems to care about all of the fans toting "Passions" scrap books, handmade crocheted doilies, and everything else that could conceivably be autographed.
FAST FORWARD TO a few weeks later. Cherie and I are at the Roxy to see a Ben Kweller show with some friends. Afterward, we decide to go to On The Rox, the bar upstairs that is notorious for its pseudo-celebrity patrons like Jack Osbourne and the boys from Cypress Hill. It's pretty quiet that night but we're there only five minutes and of all the pseudo-celebrities to run into, it is Jesse Metcalfe, Miguel from "Passions."
He approaches Cherie first.
"Hey, aren't you Vic's daughter?" he practically screams over the blaring music. " I have a picture of us at my house."
At this point he notices me.
"You're in it, too!"
I want to explain to him that I'm not a stalker and that this is all a coincidence. But it would have been a futile effort to get it all out over the music. So, I just resign to revel in the craziness of the moment. After all, I am technically a fan, and it's only a thrice in a lifetime opportunity to actually meet face-to-face with a star from your favorite soap opera.
Reach the reporter at joy.hepp@asu.edu.
