Every week writing this column is an adventure. Photographer Matt Garcia and I put on camouflage fatigues and crawl around on our stomachs until we make a surprise attack on our subjects. OK, that's a little bit of an exaggeration - we don't crawl - we just hide behind trees. Anyway, I have observed a lot of interesting phenomenon from these covert operations. For instance, ASU President Michael Crow doesn't act too crazy when you see him walking and you yell, "What's up President Crow," across the courtyard. Also, the LGBTQ facilitator, Sam Holdren, really likes to smack my ass and I think I like it.
But the most important and puzzling observation is that ASU loves mesh hats. Today, while Matt and I were searching for a subject for this column, we became transfixed at the sheer number of students sporting the same kind of hats that my grandpa wears while mowing the lawn. The only difference is, all Sundevils wear their hats slightly askew. All of this observation put us in a very perplexing position: I had a column to write, and Matt had a picture to take, but it's not like I could've said, "Don't I know you?" to a hat. But I had so many burning questions!
Where does one purchase one of these hats? Not everyone of this campus can afford those brand new $80 Von Dutch hats, and the last time my grandpa had a garage sale was 1997. And, can one of you girls please explain to me why you could spend two and a half hours styling your hair only to top it all off with a crusty Styrofoam Pabst Blue Ribbon advertisement? Are people aware that this fashion statement went out of style around the same time Ashton Kutcher (who some argue started the whole trend in the first place) punk'd his first victim?
So, we decided to make a compromise. We would scour the campus until we found someone who could actually pull off the mesh-hat look and then we would interview said person.
Readers, you wouldn't believe the faux pas we came across. We're talking about guys with huge hats covering about one centimeter of their craniums, and girls with hats that were way too askew for their own good. Then, we found Brent Yoshida, a spanking new architecture freshman from Huntington Beach, Calif. He was wearing a snug black "Hang Loose" hat and he had the low-key attitude to pull off the style.
SPM: Don't I know you?
Yoshida: Um, I don't think so.
SPM: Never mind, I like your hat. In fact, I think you're the winner for today.
Yoshida: Cool.
SPM: Why did you start to wear mesh hats?
Yoshida: I'm from Orange County and it's basically a bunch of surfers there, so that's pretty much the style.
SPM: What did you think when you came to Arizona?
Yoshida: It was weird. I showed up here and everyone was wearing them. I like it though.
SPM: Do you think mesh hats look good on everyone?
Yoshida: It depends on how they dress. Some people make it look like they try too hard.
SPM: Do you have any favorite hats?
Yoshida: I like this one because I got it for $2 at a Hawaiian Swap meet. I have another one with a gecko on it from the same place.
SPM: What do you think is the proper way to wear a mesh hat?
Yoshida: Well, usually slightly to the side in the front. Sometimes I wear it backwards, but never straight to the back. I don't like it when people wear it all high like a trucker.
SPM: What about truckers who wear mesh hats?
Yoshida: Nah, that's not cool.
Joy and Matt's Dorky Hat Spectrometer
The identities of the mesh hat wearers have been hidden. We have arranged them in order from (top left to bottom right) dorky to cool.
Reach the reporter at joy.hepp@asu.edu.
