"Anyone who doesn't have any ethical issues getting spanked needs to be there," a pigtailed Denise Shuebert, president of the Arizona Roller Derby, says to a group of 15 punk rockers outside Casey Moore's bar in Tempe on Saturday evening.
The tattooed individuals sit around a picnic table as the sun sets, smoking cigarettes, drinking beers and talking about their latest endeavors in their quest to bring the nearly dead sport of roller derby back to life.
Even if it means getting spanked for cash in a fund-raiser they call "the spanking booth."
Many will remember the roller derby from back in the day when its popularity skyrocketed in the late '50s and early '70s.
The derby is defined as a race between two teams on roller skates. A player scores points for his or her team by overtaking opposing players and completely skating around the track within a given time limit.
While many older derbies were choreographed in a WWF-style, the Arizona Derby is very real. Sure, the team talks about what kind of hitting is allowed and techniques that are practiced. But when the players are out on the rink, what spectators see is spur of the moment and real.
Today, the group of men and women of the AZRD are working overtime, struggling to get things in place for their first bout, which will take place on Nov. 22.
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Click here for a slideshow of these badass chicks gettin' busy on the rink.
Just three months ago, however, the roller derby didn't exist. It was just a dream in the mind of one woman.
Taking a beating
How it works:
A team consists of one pivot, three blockers and a jammer. Two teams skate against each other in one pack formation. The pack has the two pivots in front, the blockers in the middle and the two jammers in the back.
The jammers are the scoring skaters and wear stars on their helmets. The jammers begin about 20 feet behind the pack, and the ref signals a double whistle when they can start sprinting.
When the first jammer makes it through the pack, the jam officially starts. Both jammers have to make it through the pack and lap it before they start scoring, but once they've lapped the pack once, they get a point for every opposing person they pass.
The rest of the team's main goal is to stop the opposing jammer from passing them and scoring - a goal that requires a lot of pushing and shoving.
The pivot's job is to lead the pack, set the pace and try to keep the pack together. She is also a backup jammer and the last person in the jam who's able to stop the opposing jammer from getting by - so she's a blocker, as well. The pivots wear a stripe on their helmets.
The blockers' primary responsibility is to make sure their jammer can get through and the other jammer cannot. They accomplish this by working together to lock out the opposing jammer, knocking down the jammer as she tries to pass, blocking the opposing jammer's blockers and preventing the blockers from the other team from doing the same.
Rewind to late July. Shuebert, 34, who was working a mundane job as a project director, had the obscure idea to start a roller derby in Arizona. She wanted a place where girls could strap on some skates, be aggressive and escape the boredom of their everyday jobs.
A post on a local Web site, www.azpunk.com, asked if anyone was interested in joining the derby; it has drawn a crowd of about 50 women over the past few months.
Most of the girls who showed up hadn't skated since they were young, and like most of the world had no idea what the derby was about.
Anxiously, the determined girls were ready to dive in headfirst and make Shuebert's dream come to life.
"My husband said the first time someone got an elbow in the face, it would fall apart," Shuebert says.
But the girls have proved him wrong.
A quick peek at the injury page on the AZRD Web site will have anyone cringing.
"Have you ever flicked a melon with your finger?" asks Ashley "Smashley" Adams describing her concussion. "That was the sound my head made."
Today, the derby has a saying: If you're not bruised, no one will take you seriously.
From bruised bums to concussions, they are one tough pack of chicks. Agreeing to give their butts up to the cause, the girls came up with the idea of having a spanking booth to raise money for the team.
After all, most of them needed help covering the expensive costs of skates, pads, promotion and rink time.
So, with the help of the guys (who work as the light crew, scorekeepers, referees and deejays), a booth was constructed. The girls charged $3 to give and $8 to take a beating to the rear.
The fund-raiser, held at The Rouge in Scottsdale, brought in between $200 and $300 in spankings alone.
"One guy came up to me and asked, 'On a scale of one to 10, how hard can I spank you?'" Adams says. "He pulled out a $20, so I put it between my teeth and was like, 'Go ahead.'"
Gaining friends
Arizona Roller Derby upcoming events:
Friday, Oct. 24: AZ Roller Derby Benefit Show at the Rogue, 423 N. Scottsdale Road. Meet the teams in uniform. With musical guests: Grave Danger, The 440s, Hell on Heels, The Okmoniks and DJ Jefe. Click here for more information, posters and maps. Wear an Arizona Roller Derby shirt and get a buck off at the door.
Saturday, Nov. 22 the Bruisers vs. the Smash Squad at Surfside Skateland With musical guests: The Swing Ding Amigos, Big Vinny and DJ Jefe. Advanced tickets go on sale on Oct. 24 at Eastside Records, Stinkweeds, Plush, Surfside Skateland Rink and Cowtown Skates $8 general/$10 floor Click here for more information.
While these days the girls are comfortable enough to get spankings in front of each other, it wasn't always that way. At the first meeting, most of the girls knew little about each other aside from what their profile on www.azpunk.com had to say.
But after two months of practicing four times a week for several hours, friendships are brewing.
Isn't it hard to maintain a friendship, though, when you're constantly beating each other up? Some probably couldn't handle it, but the AZRD girls have a unique outlook.
"If it wasn't your best friend, you wouldn't be able to do it," one girl says.
That's not to say things never get overly competitive in the rink; they do. That's why after practice, the girls head out for pizza to make sure hard feelings are gone ... until next practice, anyway.
The group of girls is divided into two teams, The Bruisers and The Smash Squad.
Each team has seven girls, and until they can raise enough money to travel and compete against other derby teams, the two Arizona teams will compete against each other.
While their outfits seem risqué, it's all part of the fun, they say.
"If some guy told me to wear a nurse outfit, I'd be like, 'shut up,'" Shuebert says. But instead, this group of hardheaded individualists who live by the punk code of ethics decided to bare it all by wearing tiny nurse and cheerleader outfits and lacy bloomers.
Sticking with their punk-rock roots, the team is veering away from corporate sponsors. Instead, they do things in a real grassroots fashion, which - surprisingly enough - is working out just fine.
It seems as if the six degrees of separation theory is very true in this instance. Everyone on the team knows someone who knows someone who can make buttons or print T-shirts or whip up flyers.
The girls range in age from 19 to 34, and everyone possesses different skills that have proven to be very influential in getting the derby going.
Schuebert, a previous project manager, is in charge of making sure everything is running smoothly.
Then there's Heather (aka Bam Bam), who's an incredible seamstress and makes each skater's outfit from scratch.
Adams, who works in computer sales, is in charge of the team's marketing and promotions.
"I do my job [at work] because I have to," Adams says. "I feel like I came to a crossroad where all of this shit is becoming useful. It's like, 'Thank God, this [roller derby] is why I've been working.'"
But getting the derby started hasn't been a cakewalk. "It's like having a business on top of coaching a sport on top of learning to skate," Adams says. "Plus we have our normal lives."
A team to admire
After seeing the players beat ass in the rink, the team may appear very intimidating, but in actuality they are a group of very generous girls.
The roller derby girls from Texas and L.A. might find a way out to Arizona to witness AZRD's first bout.
"If anyone has an extra room or couch, just let me know," says Schubert to the group during their meeting. The girls have voted to find places for the other teams to stay for free.
Other teams are noting their generosity as well. Just months after it formed, the baby Arizona team already is being sought out as a mentor for other beginning teams.
The newly developed L.A. derby team has posted on its Web site that it is modeling itself after Arizona's team.
Very democratic in its ways, the team votes on every decision together, saying that there is no pecking order. It's no wonder other teams are looking to them for advice.
Young skaters are looking up to them as well.
The group practices at Surfside Skateland Rink, where they only have enough money to rent out the rink once a week. That doesn't stop the team from getting on skates as often as possible, though.
"We see the kids as obstacles," says Adams of having to dodge little kids during practice.
The kids don't seem to mind the older girls at the rink either. In fact, in an attempt to mimic the "big girls," younger skaters are donning pads and protective gear, which the derby girls are required to wear.
"It's not uncool to wear pads anymore," Shuebert says.
Why is everyone so jazzed about the new Arizona sport? Maybe it's nostalgia, maybe it's because they like to see girls beat some ass, or maybe it has something to do with the uniforms. Either way, in just several months the Arizona Roller Derby has made some serious waves and has no plans on stopping.
"Arizona's ready for us," Adams says. "We're bringing it!"
Reach the reporter at erika.wurst@asu.edu.
