I didn't see the truckload of surprises careening down the road of "Average Joe"'s capricious plot. The show has made a 180-degree change in entertainment value. If you can ignore the emotional sap dripping off your television screen, you can actually enjoy the show. After two weeks of watching, I finally did.
Unlike the past two episodes, the cast wasn't inhibited by its sheer size. This time, just six Joes contend for the glamorous Malena. While she is no doubt average in intelligence, the Joes falsely credit her with it. Then again, they aren't brilliant either.
Zach, a fish-out-of-water jock, struggles to conjure up a clever metaphor for Malena. Failing, he says, "It's worth it to climb a mountain to get over what's in between us."
The most amusing part of this show is not that the Joes vie for Malena's hand in every episode. Rather, it's their mentality. They read too much into her every interaction with them. Malena gives one an amorous glance and the Joe feels redeemed from being sent home. She pecks another on the cheek and he thinks he's transcended above the others.
Without a doubt, Adam is the nice guy on the show - and the only one who doesn't gossip within that caddy jungle of testosterone. Tall, darkly featured and sprinkled with an east-coast accent, he dons no false airs. Maybe that's why he didn't have to suffer the ice of Malena's you're-off-the-show hugs.
He proves himself after a solid win in a golf game against the other bachelors, scoring a little one-on-one time with Malena in a glider. Instead of giving a lot of kisses up front, however, he decides to riddle her first in an effort to ease her fear of flying. Even when Adam finally earns that kiss, it's just a peck. He holds the mushy stuff off for the blanket on the grass date later that night.
After the warmth of Adam, Malena has to face the spiteful John and Brad, wafting with envy. The three are whisked away in a limo to private movie theatre where John and Brad participate in a brief trivia contest. In an attempt to be cute, John answers every trivia question with "Cuba Gooding Jr." If he wasn't so breathless with angst against the other bachelors, he might have succeeded. Then again, losing has never thrilled a cheerleader.
Brad won, naturally, but let his envy for Zach consume him. He perpetuated the gossip by slandering Zach. Apparently, Brad thought he was committing some great humanitarian deed by downing Zach. But Malena's face sagged into a subtle frown while her eyes glossed over in pity and the fact that Brad wouldn't last became clear.
And naturally, he didn't. Tareq, the 21-year-old college professor, Jerry - I feel bad for him - and the green Brad were all cut. To boot, Kathy Griffin tromped on stage to introduce three new cast members. Twisting the plot and letting more sap drip, three stunning bachelors acquainted themselves with Malena. The Joes said nothing while the hunks, bathed in smiles, stood ready to cripple the remaining Joes in Episode 4.
With that, "Average Joe" takes on a new dimension of conflict. As bizarre as at it may seem, the show now features three beauties and three beasts battling for a gem.
Chris Kark is a reporter for the Web Devil. Reach him at christopher.kark@asu.edu.