Every once in a while, when I need to feel the sense of doom deep in my gut that the world is ending, I check out the many award shows that tout popular music.
Jimmy Kimmel's much-ballyhooed hosting gig at the 31st-annual American Music Awards on ABC turned out to be a so-so addition to his resumé, but at least he got to be funny.
Kimmel's smart (alec) remarks kept the show alive. Unfortunately, his appearances were few and far between.
A joke about "the kiss" at the MTV Video Music Awards - an award show the AMAs could never hope to be - was a brilliant moment for Kimmel. In another funny moment, he broke away to ask Justin Timberlake (sitting in Hamburg, Germany) via satellite, "Do you feel blacker in Germany?"
"Real people" who buy and support the music were the voice behind the show, Kimmel said. I don't know who those real people were, but they need a reality check. The show was mostly filled with performances and introductions by and for overplayed megastars.
Britney Spears was performing onstage early in the show. Spears' ability to look serious and sing - well, try to sing - while looking like she put on a snug-fitting $5 Halloween costume is second to none. She came out in a black and hot pink outfit designed primarily for ladies of the evening. At least when Christina Aguilera dresses dirrrty, she's dirrrty with style.
Then, without a break, Kid Rock stepped out to sing "Feel Like Making Love." When he sang the lower notes, the song almost sounded like the original. When Kid tried to put energy and intensity into the song, somehow it came out too intense and overdone - but the crowd really seemed to dig it. Kid won the award for Favorite Male Pop-Rock Artist.
Missy "Misdemeanor" Elliot was late to accept her award for Favorite Female Hip-Hop/Rap artist during one strange moment during the show. Elliot claimed that she was late due to her limo being stolen at the hotel.
Sure, Missy. And I'm going to move to Hamburg, Germany next week.
Ruben Studdard and Clay Aiken joined to sing together in Aiken's "If I was Invisible" song and in a "Jesus is Love" song. The two kings of TV Cheese were definitely in top form, as was an acoustically-accompanied Pink. Evanescence came out and gave a generally good performance, but lead singer Amy Lee's voice was definitely shaky.
The most touching moment was when Luther Vandross' mother came out to accept the Favorite Hip-Hop/R&B Artist award for her son. She had a hard time speaking to the crowd, but they all understandingly seemed to love her. It was obvious that Jaheim, Ginuwine and R. Kelly combined couldn't top the star power of (and empathy for) an ailing Vandross. Vandross' album, Dance with my Father also later was named the Favorite Hip-Hop/R&B Album.
The most groan-worthy moment was when Rod Stewart came out to sing a quiet lounge-ish song for the audience to the pop-loving under-30 crowd. The song was awfully cheesy to come from the throat of a man known to "sow his wild oats" in his younger days. I don't find him sexy at all, mainly due to his age and scratchy voice.
Fleetwood Mac, also in Hamburg, Germany, accepted the award for Favorite Band, Duo or Group in the Pop-Rock category. Among other performances, Toby Keith performed his true-blue American music and won the top country album award for Unleashed. (He lost to Tim McGraw for the Favorite Male Country Artist award.) Alabama was named the Favorite Band, Duo or Group for country music. Ricky Martin was named the top Latin artist, and Madonna was given the Michael Jackson International Artist award but couldn't come to the show.
The awards were too many to completely list here, which would preclude discussion of the horrid fashion crimes being committed during the show. The fashion police, after hauling Britney away, would have to move quickly to handcuff Ashanti for wearing her bizarre orange "dress" that looked more like a glorified kilt.
Next they would have to round up all the women who decided to copy Jennifer Lopez' infamous open-stomached dress for some reason. If they so desired, the fashion police could have rounded up nearly all the women for a variety of misdemeanors (and a couple of felonies).
But all in all, it was a memorable night if you took in Kimmel's laughs and turned away from the fashion criminals.
Nicole Saidi is the Content Editor of the Web Devil. Reach her at nicole.saidi@asu.edu.
