You know how the saying goes: "I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend, to the death, your right to - HOLY CRAP LOOK OUT HERE COMES AL FRANKEN!"
Al Franken - comedian, writer, "that Stuart Smalley guy" - actually body slammed a heckler at a Dean rally on Monday. In brief: the heckler in question, a supporter of off-the-radar Democratic presidential candidate Lyndon LaRouche, was part of a group attempting to disrupt roaring-Howard's speech with a shouting match.
The Saturday Night Live veteran apparently felt that the heckler was interfering with Dean's right to free speech, so Franken interfered with the heckler's right not to be body slammed. He physically picked the man up (from behind, the pansy) and threw him to the ground, breaking his own trademark glasses in the process. "I got down low and took his legs out," Franken told reporters later, displaying an eerie professionalism. "I was a wrestler, so I used a wrestling move."
Franken further explained his motivation: "I'm neutral in this race, but I'm for freedom of speech, which means people should be able to assemble and speak without being shouted down."
Yeah, assemble and speak with extreme prejudice. As a conservative guy I have to say what an obvious double standard this is - if Rush Limbaugh had punched out a demonstrator, we'd never hear the end of it. And as a fat guy I have to say, "blarg blarg get me some ham, all this typing is making me hungry." But that's also beside the point.
The weird part is, this is only the latest (and by latest I mean second) incident in a history of violent/antisocial behavior from the brazen funnyman: Franken has a standing fistfight challenge to the editor of the conservative magazine National Review.
Back in 2000, NR Editor In Chief Rich Lowry spoke on C-SPAN decrying the "feminization" of modern politics, i.e., focusing more on feelings and photo ops rather than unquestionably manly topics such as national security, budget restraint, farting contests and so forth.
Rather than debate the issue, Franken instead threatened to beat Lowry up. After mulling it over, the much younger Lowry declined the offer to use his fists of conservative fury against a 50-year-old with a bad back, and no blood was spilled that day.
A few years later, Franken recaptured the whole ordeal in his best-selling left-wing rant, "Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them," as further evidence in the book's case against conservative "chicken hawks." At least, I think that's what the point was; I haven't read Franken's book on account of I'm not an idiot.
It's hard to decide what's more pathetic: that Franken apparently cannot distinguish between basic masculinity and a sort of barbarian/Klingon code of honor in which all disputes are settled with fisticuffs, or that if the merits of Lowry's arguments are somehow invalidated just because his mouth was writing a check his body couldn't cash.
Either way, it's moot. The real issue is, Franken has finally found a vent for his anger, and that's OK. He even said that he would have performed the same act of unpredictable violence if the heckler had been a Dean supporter at a Kerry rally. So Franken's heart is in the right place, even if his body is on the top turnbuckle, ready to jump.
Al Franken may have a filmography so lame as to make Pauly Shore look respectable, but when it comes to politics, he's good enough, he's smart enough and doggone it, he's gonna kick your ass if you don't watch it.
Eric Spratling is a public relations senior and could easily take on six or seven liberals in the steel-cage match at once. Reach him at eric.spratling@asu.edu.
