Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to ASU 101. I hope you enjoyed having the first two weeks off (I did), but now we'll be meeting once a week for the rest of the semester. Unless it's raining.
I'll be your TA. Quit groaning. I'm not going to be one of those jerk TAs. I'll be a cool TA like big Mike Rogers in "Saved by the Bell: The College Years." Except he was an RA, but you get the point.
Now time for some questions.
Q: Why is there no daily editorial/opinion section for students not working for The State Press to voice their opinions?
Sometimes I feel like those 15 minutes I spend editing the opinion pages every day are going to waste. Never mind that we run letters to the editor all the time. Who cares about those?
The asker of this question had the audacity to call MallRants, "pathetic quotes from the average intellectually numb ASU student." No way. It takes guts to get on camera and make a statement about pressing issues.
The real forum for student opinion is Talk Back. On Tuesday, a student went off about how he thought fraternities and lacrosse players should kill each other in a Battle Royale. You can call Talk Back at (480) 965-6881.
Besides all that stuff, we run guest columns from time to time. Students are welcome to submit them. But what I think this issue really boils down to is that students don't have opinions. You gonna' prove me wrong?
Q: Why do you change your mug shot stories every semester? Why do you look funny in all of them?
Some people think my style is so sweet that I should never change it. But I like to switch it up every semester. That's why I get a nice new mug shot. How else will people know if I have long hair or short hair or facial hair or a mullet? Wouldn't it be important to know if I got a Mike Tyson-style full-face tattoo this semester?
No matter what look I'm sporting, I'm always looking ... funny? No more questions for today. Homework for next week: send me some better questions.
Send questions to the TA at ASU101@asu.edu.
