The School of Leisure Studies cordially welcomes you back to ASU for another semester of debauchery tinged with scholastics. This summer saw great growth in the field of leisure studies, with the opening of satellite campuses at the University of Wisconsin-Madison and UCSD, and an affiliate branch in Yuma. From the mountains of Montana to the beaches of Spain, not a stone was left unturned as leisure studies students scoured the globe in search of a full glass and a good time.
Several more students were added to the rolls of Four Peaks Scholars, though the debate continues as to whether the scholars should be required to consume the seasonal brew in addition to the standard menu. This discourse is no doubt destined to continue: stay tuned to these pages for the latest updates. In the meantime, the school endorses the full menu as both palatable and wholesome.
In our duty to relay the exploits of Tempe leisure, the school makes it our solemn pledge to report in a completely biased manner all matters of relaxation, enjoyment and sloth. Do not think that we live solely to pursue leisure. Instead, realize that we pursue leisure in order to live.
The School of Leisure Studies applauds the state's efforts to extend last call to 2 a.m. And in particular, we would like to thank Republican Rep. Michele Reagan from District 8 who authored the last call legislation. We wholeheartedly endorse all of her future endeavors, and if things ever go poorly in her district, she's certainly welcome to carpetbag it down to District 17 to attract the ASU vote, (all two of us).
Now leisure studies students in Tempe can join their Utah compatriots in imbibing their new and improved plus/minus GPAs toward oblivion. Remember, college can be the best five years of your life, just ask the dean himself. Leaving college in four years is like leaving an awesome party at 10:30.
In the spirit of leisure, the school was out in full force (again, all two of us) at Four Peaks on Tuesday night to celebrate the extension of the later last call. Fun was had by all, though in moderation. We certainly wouldn't want to be barred from the hallowed halls of Four Peaks. Then we'd have to stand in line at Dos Gringos and pretend we were in Scottsdale. (Insert ass-shaking music here).
I'll be honest; the beer didn't taste any different. For those of us expecting the taste of freedom, I guess we should just keep drinking. So in the name of leisure, we bid you welcome, and we'll see you at the bar.
Brian Clapp is a biology and political science senior, again. Reach him at brian.clapp@asu.edu.
