Hi, my na-me is ASU, and I have a drinking problem. OK, maybe not all of us, but when the Princeton Re-view neglected to include our wonderful University in their top-10 list of party schools this year, the only reason I could think of was the people in charge decided it would be unfair to include professionals in a ranking of amateurs.
Whether it's Old Town Scottsdale or hometown Tempe, there is always a place and a reason to get sauced. But the destinations and the drives are often so distant that there are few decisions beyond the dreaded decision to drink and drive.
It wasn't too many nights ago that I heard (on more than one occasion) the words, "I'm OK to drive," "I am not that drunk" and my favorite, "I'm good at driving drunk."
When you drink, your judgment is the first thing affected, so when you say, "I'm fine," it's coming from an already impaired brain. Secondly, people don't actually think they are going to get caught. The latter is one of the reasons drinking and driving is acceptable to some -- that, and the perception that the worst thing that can happen is getting caught and getting a DUI.
Not only is this entirely wrong, but it is entirely irresponsible. Too many people buy into it (including myself until recently). In reality, getting caught isn't the worst thing that can happen: You could possibly kill someone else or yourself. I know you've heard this from your mom, and I'm not sorry for repeating it.
In Arizona, if you get caught driving while under the influence, there is a very substantial chance that you'll spend a long, hot day (or 10) at Sheriff Joe's "Summer Camp For Adults." But if you kill someone, you're going to a place where they put the really bad people who -- unlike you -- killed someone on purpose.
I know all the excuses because I've used them. "But Adam, cabs are so expensive." Yeah right; with the money you'll spend on lawyers, court fees, classes, meetings, getting your license reinstated and the $100 Joe Arpaio charges you to stay at his wonderful facility, you could take a cab from here to Vegas and back -- and you'll probably have a couple hundred left to throw down on USC to cover the spread against your own school.
"But Adam, I don't want to leave my car in some parking lot all night." With the money you'll spend getting a DUI, you could call a towing company every Friday and Saturday night for a year and have them tow your precious 1981, primer-gray Civic back to your place; and you'll still have some cash left in your pocket for Pabst Blue Ribbon.
And last but not least: "Adam, how am I going to get back to my car in the morning?" Well if you had been reading your State Press in class instead of taking notes, like a good little slacker, then you'd have read Katie Ruark's front-page article about how the AAA Yellow Cab will give you a free ride back to your car the next morning as long as you pay your fare the night before.
Pretty sweet huh? In spite of all these reasons not to drink and drive, I would say ASU and our local governments could make it even easier for us ASU partiers to make better decisions.
In South Bend, Ind., Notre Dame students get a flat rate on their cab fares depending on the number of students in the cab. A ride home alone costs $5, while riding with a group costs about $2 per person -- almost anywhere in the city. At the University of Colorado (last year's No. 1 party school) the city buses continue on their routes well after the bars close to make sure people have a safer option late at night. Students ride free with ID.
The University of San Diego Associated Students subsidizes the students' cab rides by paying for half of the fare. Unfortunately for USD students, they only get to use this system three times per semester. But hey, it's better then nothing, which is what we get here at ASU.
Adam Wright is a journalism senior. Reach him at adam.wright@asu.edu.
