Thanks to an unlikely act of kindness by ASU Parking and Transit Services, students will be able to watch the wheels on Valley Metro buses go 'round and 'round free of charge next semester (see story Page 1).
ASU PTS plans to provide all students with free passes for Valley Metro bus routes in fall 2005. While this is a great idea, students don't typically dig on buses. So, we've developed a list of ways to make buses more appealing to students:
10. Improve the routes. We want the buses to stop in convenient locations. You know, the places where most students hang out, like the bars along Mill Avenue and the restaurants around University Drive. It would be cool if they occasionally stopped by campus, too.
9. Better hours. On Mondays through Saturdays, the bus routes start at 4:30 a.m., but they stop at 1 a.m. With the bars now closing at 2 a.m., that's an hour's worth of drinking -- at least three beers -- that we're losing. Besides, what's another couple hours?
8. Discounts for riding the bus. If we're going to sit on hard seats and stop every eighth of a mile, we want something in return, like discounts on textbooks or food in the Memorial Union. And then those businesses can claim they're eco-friendly and support mass transit.
7. A bus ad campaign. Students have to be convinced that riding the bus is cool. The zealous few taking 7:40 a.m. classes will still ride the buses. The target audience should be the styling guys and gals on campus -- make it cool, and the rest will follow.
6. Get the bums off the buses. There's nothing worse than boarding a bus and having some smelly bum ask you for a couple quarters, and then when you give him a Canadian nickel, having him glare at you as if you did something wrong.
5. Double-decker buses. Who wants to ride a bus when there's just one deck? That would be like going to a strip club that doesn't have a VIP room or a Sizzler without a buffet.
4. An MTV-style "Pimp My Buses" Xzibit. If you want to establish some street-cred, you've got to add a little more flair. These buses need some dice hanging in the rearview mirrors and some stripes running along the sides.
3. Sponsored buses. Valley Metro can sell sponsorships for the sides of its buses. It would generate boatloads of money. And who wouldn't want to ride a bus that features ads by Tide, Tampax and Nabisco? It could be just like NASCAR, and you've already got your key demographic.
2. Starbucks on buses. There are not nearly enough Starbucks locations on campus. It's almost impossible to get a cup of coffee around here.
1. Party buses. You knew that one was coming. It's not a bus if it doesn't have a bar, strobe lights, a dance floor and a Jacuzzi.
See, riding the bus might not be that bad after all.
