The 2005 Census doesn't excite many people, but my roommates and I await the potential surveyor with arms wide open. We can't wait to expose Arizona to what we call our "multicultural household" - also known as the domain of one half-Asian female; one (sort-of) Jewish female (me); one white, Anglo-Saxon, Protestant male (aka the WASP); and one gay male.
While I never envisioned myself living with any men before I got married, I found myself giving up all prospects of sanity and a hygienic bathroom when I moved in August. And I admit I was a bit frightened that I would say the wrong thing or wear the wrong outfit and offend my new roomie.
It turns out my indie-yuppie roommates were willing to spend ample time indoctrinating me into the ways of living in a gay-friendly household. In less than three months, I have been transformed into a soy-milk-drinking, designer-jeans-wearing, "Will and Grace"-watching "ally" of the LGBT cause.
Maybe it's that I look for men to set my gay roommate up with. It probably has something to do with my similarities to Karen of "Will and Grace."
Whatever it is, my roommates recently informed me that I am now "gay by association."
What exactly does this label mean? When asked, my roommates responded that it essentially means I have an understanding of gay stereotypes, how it is possible for gay people to both fit the mold in some way and break it in others, all without making them different from heterosexual people.
For example, my gay roommate could be considered stereotypically gay. He loves fashion, is a clean-freak and likes to prepare gourmet meals. But he does not fit the negative stereotype of being sexually promiscuous or speaking with the lisp, and most other gay men do not fit this stereotype either.
However, when I decided to research my "GBA" label online, I found a very different connotation. Articles in University of California Berkley's The Daily Californian and California State Polytechnic University's The Poly Post both mention the darker side.
This negative meaning of the term involves closeted homosexuals. They are afraid to befriend other gay people, worried they will be assumed to be gay just because of who their friends are.
According to the American Medical Student Association's LGBT People in Medicine site, it can also refer to straight people who have gay friends, but are worried that other people might think they are gay because of them.
I am both saddened and disturbed by these meanings. As someone who believes stereotypes must be broken down, I can't imagine being afraid someone would assume I am gay just because my roommate is. Then again, I think it is easier for me as a straight female.
When people see a guy and a girl shopping together, they assume the girl is straight and the guy is gay. But if a straight male befriends a gay male, people might assume they are boyfriends, or both gay.
There is no reason to allow these stereotypes to stand. Everyone's a little "gay by association." There are straight men who like fashion; there are gay men who like football. There are lesbian women who are sexy, and straight women who have short haircuts and don't like to wear dresses.
Enough with the stereotypes. It's time to start getting to know people for who they are: gay, straight, Jewish, Asian, WASP or otherwise. And not everyone needs a "multicultural household" to help them come to this realization.
Stephanie Berger is a journalism junior. Reach her and the WASP, half-Asian and gay roomies at stephanie.m.berger@asu.edu.
