In case you haven't figured this out, Stale Mess is just a bunch of made up stories. It's as fake as your "Kate Spade" purse that's "hecho en Mexico." As fake as the breasts on the Playboy playmates, our USG president wants to ban. It's possibly even faker. It's content is not to be taken seriously. Stale Mess is fake, fake, fake. Any resemblance to actual people (unless, of course, those actual people are public figures, in which case their quotes are still fake) is purely accidental. Enjoy. And remember: it's fake.
ASU polices facebook.com infractions:
The ASU Department of Public Safety will abandon its traditional police services and instead focus solely on patrolling Web sites students frequent, University officials announced Wednesday.
"Let [Tempe Mayor] Hugh Hallman tap students on the shoulder and arrest them for public urination," ASU President Michael Crow said at a press conference Monday. "I'm more concerned with students urinating on ASU's reputation on facebook and other such Web sites."
The department was renamed the ASU e-Police Department over the weekend, Crow added.
See e-Police Beat
USG declares president completely bonkers:
The Undergraduate Student Government senate declared President Yaser Alamoodi incompetent in a unanimous resolution passed Wednesday night.
The resolution cited Alamoodi's pay suspension, reversed veto and Playboy bill as some of the many reasons they questioned the president's mental ability.
"He has the attention span and mental capacity of an infant," said Dick Sails, senator for the College of Letters.
The Stale Mess tried to reach Alamoodi for comment, but he hung up.
"You're interrupting my porn time," Alamoodi said.
The resolution theorizes Alamoodi's many pies to the face may have caused some brain damage.
