Britney just doesn't size up. Literally. And that means Miss Spears, or shall I say Mrs. Federline, is no longer America's favorite fantasy girl.
Spears did not even make FHM's (For Him Magazine) top 100 sexiest women list this year. In 2005, Spears came in sixth place on the top 100 list. This year, however, poor Britney couldn't seem to loose her motherly curves, which was one of the predominant reasons why she slipped a hundred or so notches.
As a result, men both young and old rolled up their Britney posters, stored them under their beds and turned to Scarlett Johansson, who was voted No. 1 on FHM's hot list, for their new eye candy.
Some of the top 10 women were undeserving of the glorious "hottie" title, such as washed up and obnoxious hottie Jenny McCarthy, who came in seventh place. I mean, really, is this 1996 all over again? McCarthy hasn't been on anyone's mind, TV or magazine cover since she ran MTV's "Singled Out." How she managed to get herself in the spotlight again is beyond me. Maybe she refused to stop burping and making funny faces until someone at FHM slipped her a few hundred extra votes. All I know is that I sure as hell didn't vote for her.
Angelina Jolie was voted No. 2 on this year's list. But wait a minute ... Angelina Jolie is pregnant. How did she manage to stay on the list while Spears fell off the boat? I can think of a few reasons. First off, Jolie's boyfriend, that guy named Brad, isn't the epitome of white trash, like Kevin Federline. (Ugh. Just saying the name makes me cringe.) Also Jolie, as unconventional as she is, has real talent.
Talent -- a little word that is often overlooked when a woman's measurements are 34-25-35. I'd have to say though, the FHM list reflects a good mix of good-looking women with talent and not just good-looking women. For instance, 18-year-old tennis professional Maria Sharapova was voted No. 8 on the list. Personally, I don't think she's supermodel material, but since she's a talented tennis player, she's an attractive catch for voters (being tall and blonde probably didn't hurt either).
Jolie was not the only mother-to-be who made the list. Others included Gwen Stefani and Katie Holmes. Not to mention current mother, Heidi Klum, who gave birth and got right back to the Victoria's Secret runway only two months after.
Spears gave birth to her son seven months ago. The current rumors circulating about another Spears pregnancy don't help her on the hottie scale, either, and her claim seems like a cover-up for her embarrassing figure. Maybe FHM should come out with a top 100 trashiest women list. I'm sure she'll rank on that one.
It's not just talent and beauty that puts these women on the list. I think the women have to have respect and confidence in themselves, or at least pretend like they do. This is another thing that makes Spears' desirability swirl down the drain.
Keeping your body healthy and in shape is one of the biggest signs of self-respect there is. I can understand the average American's reasoning behind not getting to the gym once in a while due to hectic schedules. But Spears doesn't have a 9-to-5 daily job, college classes to worry about passing or financial troubles like the rest of us. So what is her excuse for packing on the pounds, especially when her job description is basically to just look sexy? Come on Britney: Hire your personal trainer back!
Sara Sturges is a journalism senior. Stand up for Britney Spears by e-mailing your rebuttals to ssturges@imap2.asu.edu.
