We could all learn a little something about porn, even giant pandas.
Don't believe me? Here's the proof.
In an effort to get a pair of sexually inactive young giant pandas to mate, zookeepers and veterinarians at the Chiang Mai Zoo in northern Thailand will show its two biggest attractions, in what amounts to animal porn, according to Agence France-Presse.
Kannika Nimtragol, a veterinarian at the famous Thai zoo, said to AFP that 6-year-old Chuang Chuang showed no interest when his 5-year-old partner Lin Hui became ready to mate in January last year.
Kannika said that the two play pals were acting more like brother and sister than boyfriend and girlfriend, so the couple will undergo a form of animal sexual therapy this year in an attempt to increase Chuang Chuang's sexual prowess.
"We have to encourage them to mate, and the videos will show mating positions of male pandas and female pandas," she said.
Giant pandas have a notoriously low sex drive, one factor of many that has led them to be one of the world's most endangered animals.
"Like other male pandas, Chuang Chuang is only interested in eating, sleeping and playing, but not mating," she said to AFP.
So Christmas will come early for Chuang Chuang this year when he and Lin Hui are secluded in a room with animal porn starting in early December.
All this talk of panda porn got me to thinking about a few things.
First, is there a giant panda black market of porn that exists in the world? Doesn't there have to be if Chuang Chuang and Lin Hui are going to be watching the movies?
Are there panda porn stars with names? Is there a collection of movies called "Hard Bamboo" - 1, 2 and Extended Version?
One can only hope.
Anyway, all the panda porn also got me thinking about human pornography.
We all know that pornographic images are visually stimulating, but does that translate into setting the mood?
According to Sari Locker, author of "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Amazing Sex," the answer is most definitely yes, for both men and women.
In her December sex column in Maxim magazine, Locker cites a study from a scientific journal that showed similar heightened neurological impulses in brain-wave activity of men and women while viewing erotic images.
In other words, both men and women are sexually aroused by erotic images, equally.
Why, oh why, then, is pornography so often seen as a masculine flaw? Why won't women just embrace the porn and watch it together with us like Lin Hui?
It seems to me that any mention of porn, or even a Playboy magazine, often intimidates - or better - creeps out the feminine sex.
This makes it nearly impossible to present your significant other with even the prospect of a nudie video.
Of course, there are exceptions, but on the whole, pornography seems more a male fascination.
Maybe our culture has made it more acceptable for males to embrace sexual openness than females in the past, but the times, they are a changing. Women are more sexually free than ever.
So instead of guys risking their relationships to try and present their women with the prospect of pornography, it's time women flipped the switch and popped in the movie.
Like Chuang Chuang, the rest of us guys will bring the popcorn.
Ty Thompson is a journalism senior whose mom won't appreciate him advocating porn. Still, send him your private collections at: Tyler.W.Thompson@asu.edu.
