Last week, I asked the readers of the State Press to write about how well they thought the editorial board and I were doing, and/or what they wanted to hear about. My desperate plea for letters evinced a whopping total of six e-mails.
Anyway, the few e-mails I got were interesting enough. First off, Steven Cheshko writes:
"Freshness is the key to keeping things interesting. Instead of worrying about Washington and the Middle East, maybe put some emphasis on who we are here. You could write about identity, community, or the proliferation of litter all over campus. Or you could write about antidisestablishmentarianism. I don't know if it makes for a good article, but it's fun to say."
You're right, Steven. Face it: politics are boring. If I wanted a brilliant solution to the world's problems, I'd intoxicate myself with the oceans of words that issue daily from the high-paid jerks in New York, Washington, and L.A.
ASU definitely needs more attention, and I'm already petitioning my editor for mandatory F&I (Freshness & Imagination) shots for every writer. (Although personally, I think this paper would be better if everyone here just dropped acid, but no one listens to me.)
One reader who seems to fancy herself a regular Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov gave me this inspiring broadside:
"Workers of the Editorial Board, unite! Venture beyond those gray cell walls that inhibit your creativity and find the seedy underbelly of this otherwise wonderful institution! Call upon your reserves of wit and sleuth to expose the truths behind multi-million-dollar football contracts, inexplicably raised parking rates, and our beloved M.U. protesters."
"Perhaps you will find the truth is exactly what we've been told, and boring. No matter. You, and you alone, have been charged with that unique burden of bringing the public those opinions which are not deemed acceptable by 'The Man.' "
Amen, sister! Although it isn't hard to say something that gets on The Man's nerves, sleuthing is something that your reporter needs to work on. And when something is rotten in the state of Denmark, who else is going to do something about it? USG? Fat chance!
Next we had a letter from someone who actually knows Dr. Seuss' real name:
"I honestly hope you don't receive much feedback. Your work is similar to the brilliant wit of Theodor Geisel in a less sing-songy way. Passionate paragraphs that may or may not contain unicorns interspersed with a flippant, nonchalant attitude should grace the opinion page at least every full moon. Then the State Press might be worth reading."
Ah, thank you. I am indeed very, very brilliant. I will work hard to further bedazzle this silent majority with the fantastic quality of my coruscating prose, but it won't be hard, because genius comes easy to a great writer like me.
Next, an interesting e-mail from Cynthia Moayedpardazi:
"You might want to run an article or better yet, an opinion that revolves around staff and our "gripes". Staff in different departments generally share similar problems or have similar issues regarding the 'higher ups,' our jobs, our salaries, or simply just wanting to be recognized for the service we provide."
"If the entire staff at the ASU main campus decided to take off for just one day, this campus would come to a hurtling stop."
Great point. If your staff members ever want to gripe, please, e-mail or call the State Press and don't stop pestering us until you see your woes in print! We are the people's paper!
And take a day off sometime: first because you deserve it, and second because that "hurtling stop" business sounds like it'd be very entertaining.
Thanks for writing and feel free to e-mail at any time! We're here for you.
Matthew Neff is an English literature senior, and can be reached at: matthew.neff@asu.edu.
