Have you heard the latest buzz on the little gadget that brings bliss to ladies and an empty bed to gentlemen?
A new vibrator called the iBuzz can hook up to your iPod and pulse to the beat of your favorite tunes. I don't even know if I can utilize one of these, but sign me up, because I want one.
Do you think when the vibrator was invented they thought of all of these crazy possibilities? I would venture to say no, and that's just because the vibrator wasn't even invented with pleasure or recreation in mind.
It was actually developed by late 19th century doctors to help them with all of the "hysterical" women. At the time, over 25 percent of all women were believed to have a disease called hysteria, which was characterized by over 75 different symptoms.
To say hysteria was over-diagnosed is an understatement. Any ailment a woman was plagued with was automatically called hysteria. It was much like today's children - labeled as ADHD and given a bottle full of Ritalin to help calm them down when they act like… well, children.
It was commonly believed that hysteria was a result of sexual deprivation and to cure it, a doctor had to administer "hysterical paroxysm." For those living in the 21st century, that means "orgasm."
In the 19th century, treating a patient wasn't as easy as loading a kid with pills and sending them on their anesthetized way. Instead, clueless doctors often spent hours massaging their patient in a sometimes-fruitless attempt to deliver "hysterical paroxysm."
Then, the vibrator put an end to the cramping fingers of doctors and provided the kind of stimulation the patients needed. So much so, that hysteria as an illness disappeared and the vibrator moved from the doctor's offices to the bedside drawers.
It's pretty safe to say that hysteria probably never was a real disease. It was likely a way for men to maintain control over women, or it could have just been an elaborate ploy for doctors to get in the pants of other ladies.
Either way, there is no doubting the fact that it was over-diagnosed - just like ADHD in the 1990s.
To say ADHD isn't real is a lie, because I'm sure some people really are attention deficit, and it's not their fault. But my confidence in the disease diminishes when physicians start handing out white, orange and blue pills like candy.
My biggest qualm with the drug is that doctors aren't exactly sure what the drugs in Ritalin and other ADHD prescriptions do over a long period of time.
Many studies have been done about the drugs, and conclusions are about as clear as swamp water. They run the gamut of absolute certainty to, "we are not exactly certain what this drug does."
Regardless, ADHD became a catchall diagnosis for children that exhibited a hyper temperament.
It entirely takes the responsibility away from a parent. Load the child up with Ritalin and they're sure to be manageable.
Maybe your child acts out in school, not because of a chemical imbalance, but a lack of attention or discipline at home.
But we all know it's easier to lay blame other places than ourselves.
The notion that one can physically suffer because of lack of sex isn't believable. Otherwise, priests would be in a lot of pain.
Maybe women were just pissed because they were being socially repressed in society.
But the vibrator offered a liberating feeling for these women, and the disease disappeared shortly thereafter.
What's sad is, these drugs prescribed to children make it even harder for them to call out for the attention or help they desperately need.
Reach the reporter at: kyle.snow@asu.edu.
