Career Seven
7. If your date is taking you to the Red Lobster or Olive Garden for a romantic dinner tonight, break up. Endless pasta or shrimp does not equal endless love. (Spring '06).
6. In Romania, a soccer player was traded for 33 lbs. of meat. Rather than join his new team, Marius Cioara decided to retire and find a job in agriculture. "We are upset because we lost twice - firstly because we lost a good player and secondly because we lost our team's food for a whole week," a team official was quoted as saying. (Spring '06).
5. Despite living under the same roof, it appears the only time Rudy Carpenter will be able to complete a pass to Terry Richardson is by passing the remote control (Fall '06).
4. Congratulations to the Florida Gators and Joakim Noah. I haven't seen ponytails be this successful since Steven Seagal's movie career in the early '90s. (Spring '07).
3. Manute Bol arrested for disorderly conduct, Barry Bonds dressed up like Paula Abdul - not a good week for strangely proportioned athletes. (Spring '06).
2. Joining a fantasy baseball league is like starting a new relationship. It takes up most of your time and you have to check in at least two times a day. (Spring '07).
1. Since when did the ASU football team have more plot twists than season three of "Entourage." Sam Keller has to be feeling like Vincent Chase after he was fired from Aquaman. (Fall '06).
