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Voice: For the men who'll roll their eyes

101707-voicesidrakalash

I'm waiting for the day when my husband can wake up in the night when our baby's crying and hold her till she sleeps, and my family and male friends won't say, "He's the woman in the relationship."

I'm waiting for the day when I go to somebody's house and it's not their daughter who brings in the tea but their son.

I'm waiting for the day when a woman can leave her hair open at work and not be thought of as wanting to seduce the boss.

I'm waiting for the day when you boys and men can stop going to brothels and supporting prostitution.

I'm waiting for the day when a Muslim boy won't say to me that, the way he reads it, the Quran holds a man a degree higher than a woman.

I'm waiting for the day when you boys can date a girl who sleeps around just as much as you do and not snicker with your friends and call her a slut.

I'm waiting for the day when you devout or liberal Muslim boys can marry a divorcée without people gasping or you thinking that it must be her fault that the marriage didn't work.

I'm waiting for the day when my mother will say, "Compromise comes from both partners," instead of, "We as women have to compromise more."

I'm waiting for the day when sons will be told to lower their gaze just as daughters are.

I'm waiting for the day when Bohra Muslims and other religious sects around the world will stop practicing female genital mutilation.

I'm waiting for the day when boys and men will realize that just as they do, women have sexual desires.

I'm waiting for the day when I can call myself a feminist without it sounding like a slur or an insult.

I'm waiting for the day when I'll be paid just as much as the man next to me at work.

I'm waiting for the day when I won't be told to shush up when raped or assaulted to keep the "honor" of the family.

I'm waiting for the day when a girl's parents won't say, "You just weren't good enough," when the potential in-laws don't return a second time.

I'm waiting for the day when a woman won't be asked if she's having premenstrual syndrome or menopause, as if that is the explanation for her "hormonal outrage"; that "she's not to be taken seriously because it's just her hormones."

I'm waiting for the day when girls will not be told they can't play sports, and men who are passionate about "girly" things will pursue them.

I'm waiting for the day when women and men out there will realize that gender is not only biology but a social construct.

I'm wondering what it'll take to convince otherwise those men reading this piece who are rolling their eyes, and boys who'll grunt, turn to their mothers and say, "This is the kind of girl I don't want to marry."

— Reach the writer at spm@asu.edu

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