How original, right? Then again, you wouldn't have come here if you wanted originality. "Real women have curves," I hear. Well, some of us real women don't. I cannot be the only one who is dead-tired of hearing of the "society is making me hate my body" spiel. So pause the pity party and pour yourself a nice, tall, cool glass of nonfat shut the f--- up so someone who can see past their thighs can set the record straight.
First of all, turn the "Sex and the City" off, forget what a Cosmopolitan is and erase the words "Manolo Blahnik" from your vocabulary. The only thing more trifling than 41-year-old women comparing arm fat is 21-year-old women doing the same. Look, complaining about societal standards is not going to give you a waist, so put down the remote and move it. The actresses you critique spend hours with personal trainers, but the SRC ain't a bad place to get a firmer ass. Good place to meet men, in case you need other motivation.
Second, before you make another trite comment about how men only find women of a certain size attractive and you're not it, think twice. I'm a 5-foot-9-inch size 2, but Derek Glasser is not leaving his number 12 basketball jersey on my floor, so don't take it personally, princess.
Most men find obsessive insecurity far more unattractive than an extra 10 pounds. Some are still dense enough to keep posters of models above their beds, but by their second semester, they usually realize that if they want to see the female body in three dimensions, they are going to have to get real.
And most of them do, because they're real too. The majority of this campus is not made up of the lifting-and-tanning-obsessed douche ladles, but of the love-handle-ridden, glasses-wearing (hott!) sort who are usually too insecure themselves to tell you how your size 10 ass is their dream come true. I have never heard of a nice engineering or philosophy guy turn a girl down because she wasn't built like a model. Actually, I have never seen them turn a girl down for any reason, but whatever.
And if none of that convinces you, start thinking about your own well-being as the reason to change your weight. They may not call you on Valentine's Day or buy you shoes, but your arteries do love you. So don't ruin their body image and put down the Cheez-Its for God's sake.
Lucia sure loves men's Sun Devil basketball. To leave your jersey on her floor, e-mail her at: lucia.bill@asu.edu.
