Boo to the impending departure from our campus by Google. While they’ll still work with the University on all of the school’s Google-hosted Web applications, Google will no longer have an office on campus — no matter how much your search for it, it won’t be there. Not even if you’re ‘feeling lucky.’ Honestly, this Google News isn’t too sad, but it does make us ASU kids feel unwanted. That’s rude. What on Google Earth were they thinking?
Bravo to the new enrollment figures. Sometimes it feels so lonely when we’re hanging around campus and now we know why — there are only 67,082 students enrolled at ASU. It’s a good start, but what the hell? As Sun Devils, we expect to feel as cramped as possible in every endeavor we undertake and given that we can almost take one full stride at a time without a collision, there is clearly more than enough room to bring in at least another 30, 000 in this sardine can.
Boo to the fraternity boys implicated in causing a Monday evening crash on University Drive. Allegedly, they were drinking milk and vomiting it off the University Bridge onto traffic below. Not only was this a disgusting and senseless act (especially since a young girl was involved in the car collision below), but also — to quote San Diego anchorman Ron Burgundy — milk was a bad choice.
Bravo to the National Science Foundation report that places ASU in the top 20 in research spending. While $224 million doesn’t seem like a lot of money these days — hello, $700 billion economic bailout — it is an impressive investment into the University’s advancement into the upper tiers of the higher education system. Now, if we could fund some research projects into how to have more money, that would be ideal.
Boo to the sport of football. We don’t want to think about it and we don’t want to talk about it; this school has heard enough about the Rebels and the Bulldogs. But if we must — and as a college publication during fall semester, we, in fact, must — mention it, we will say this: It can only get better from here. And by “from here,” we mean after Cal, USC and Oregon. And after Oregon State and Washington. And even after Washington State and UCLA.
Bravo to John McCain for suspending his campaign to focus on solving the country’s economic woes. It’s a very nice move by our senator to put his presidential bid aside, play Superman and fix the economy in a single bound. We agree with him — it would be inappropriate at a time like this to hear the two men who could be president in four months debate on long-term economic resolutions when he could just solve it all during two hours on a Friday night instead. What a maverick! In honor of McCain’s honorable move, we’re going to show our solidarity in fixing this crisis and we will be suspending all papermaking operations indefinitely … or at least until Monday.
