Do you remember your first crush?
I remember the boy — vaguely. I remember vividly, though, the silly antics to position myself in line next to him, the incessant giggling and the creatively folded and ingeniously well-hidden notes passed around my fourth-grade classroom.
I navigated the awkward middle school “relationships” and painful disappointments. High school saw more laughter than tears at the expense of boys as I went on my first real “dates” to dances, football games, concerts, dinners, youth group events and movies.
Sometime during that blur, I met my now fiancé and the rest, as they say, is history.
While other girls lamented the lack of “good guys” available, I knew they were wrong. I’m not always sure what some girls mean when they complain that “all the good guys are taken” or question “why men are such jerks,” but I have to wonder where they are looking.
To the men of ASU, I do apologize for such comments. I know many of you strive to be confident, capable, honorable men and I thank you for that. I’ve met dozens of you on campus and I’ll pass along the word that “good guys” really do exist.
Despite the laundry list of crushes, boy friends that weren’t boyfriends, prom dates, boyfriends and finally boyfriend-turned-fiancé, one male in my life has been a constant — my father.
My father is a good, honorable man and his example encouraged me to raise my standards for anyone who showed interest in me.
Thanks to my dad, I waited for a true man, not a boy, to capture my heart. I sought a courageous, confident, capable, well-balanced, adventurous, virtuous man who would honor and respect me as a woman.
Tall order, you say? Perhaps. Unreasonable? No. Have I found him? Yes.
Along the way, I learned that what was attractive about a “good” man consisted in more than general courtesies and niceties.
Rather, what attracts me to a good man is his desire to do good, the courage he possesses to do good and how he constantly develops the skills necessary to be effective in his task.
He actively seeks out goodness and truth and is ready to do battle to defend them, whether with his intellect and wit, or with his strength.
The type of man I find attractive is both confident and humble in that he is honest with himself about who he is — in both his strengths and his weaknesses.
Toward a woman, this man is a protector (because of all the boys running around), not a predator. He will defend her honor and respect her dignity as a woman, not as an object or a conquest. He will not put her in harm’s way.
He is ready and able both to lead and to serve.
He strives for integrity in speech and action, that his word may be trusted, his intentions free from suspicion of deceit or malice and his actions wise and purposeful.
The man who appeals to me is on a quest for adventure. He is not content to waste away his days.
He is a man, not a boy.
Real men of ASU, I’ve seen you around. Stand up and let us recognize you — you’re in high demand.
Andrea is setting up a matchmaking service. Send local sightings of real men at ASU to her at andrea.summers@asu.edu.
