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Proposed wind farms are obviously wrong for Arizona

If you have ever jumped on the I-10 and headed west into Los Angeles, you know all about the huge white fans that you inevitably pass once you reach California. And now, after two government agencies passed land grants earlier this week, they will soon be on their way into Arizona, too.

If you are new to the area and have yet to make the annual drive to California for the beach, Disneyland or an authentic In-N-Out Burger, you may be unfamiliar with these huge monstrosities of engineering that line the highway on both sides for miles.

These huge white fans are over three hundred feet tall, go on for as long as the eye can see and look like something out of a Ray Bradbury novel — huge, scary and nightmarish. All turning in the same direction, it’s a wonder they don’t slow down the very rotation of the Earth, because, to my untrained eye, they seem more than able.

Am I the only one who does not want to see these huge wind capturing behemoths in our beautiful state?

According to the Arizona Republic, the first phase of the wind farm is scheduled to open by 2010. Let’s stop right there.

Wind “farm?” When I think of “farms” I like to think of beautiful prairies with John Deer tractors and tall silos next to majestic red barns and acres of crops. Not mile after mile of gigantic white windmills that look like they are just waiting to chop me in half.

Perhaps a breakdown of pros and cons would be appropriate in this case.

Pro: These farms would produce enough power to supply electricity to over 16,000 homes in Arizona. Con: They look like they belong to some kind of gigantic demonic biplane from hell.

Pro: They provide a means to produce clean energy in our already wind abundant state, thus cutting down on fossil fuels and our reliance on foreign oil. Con: They look like they belong to some kind of gigantic demonic biplane from hell.

Pro: These wind farms turn a profit for the state and would generate $4 million dollars over the proposed 50-year life of the project, thus trickling down into better public parks, police officers and county hospitals. Con: They look like they belong to some kind of … well, you get the idea.

Obviously these wind capturing eye-sores are a disaster waiting to happen for this great state of ours and it is up to us to stop them.

If I have to climb all the way up to the top and suspend myself from one of the propeller blades for hours until my voice is heard, that is what I will do. If I must steal a plane and harpoon one of these bad boys down like something out of The Empire Strikes Back, I will do that too. If I have to write a column in The State Press that obviously shows the cons outweigh the pros in this argument, then so be it.

Now, who’s with me?

Alex is re-watching the battle of Hoth from Star Wars in preparation for his flight. Encourage him at

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