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In the last year, we Facebookers have become selfish drones.

We have begun to use a social-networking site that was meant for communicating as a way to keep others way too updated about our lives.

Most of the time, we log on, check our “notifications,” update our status, tag ourselves in a picture and sign off.

At least, that is what some research shows.

To collect data, I randomly selected 20 of my friend’s profiles to study. I also went on campus and asked about 30 random students about their status-updating habits.

I learned a few things: One is that my friends are more selfish than the general public (or people lie), and the other is that those of us who do update our statuses have become clinically addicted.

On average, my friends update the public about themselves around the same amount of times they communicate with others. This means they wrote just as many “25 random things” notes or let people know they were eating a sandwich with really dry bread just as many times as they said hello to a friend.

Also, my graduated friends with Facebook profiles tend to update their statuses more and communicate with others less than my friends in college. This leads me to the obvious conclusion that life is boring after college.

Students on ASU’s Tempe campus gave me a guilty smirk when I asked them, “How often do you change your status?” The average answer of those who had a Facebook was once a week. If they were with their friends, the answer went something like this:

“Um … twice a week.”

“You liar, you do it way more than that.”

“OK. Maybe once a day, or something.”

It seems as if many people are embarrassed by how selfish they are, including me. One guy asked me the same question I asked him, to which I replied with a similar guilty smile, “Probably the same as you.”

The effect of our egotism and fake communication with our friends will only show with time. Fearing face-to-face communication, our children will have computers built into their heads so they can have virtual sleepovers and virtual first kisses. Many will speak in robot voices.

Kidding.

But the tendency of Facebook users to stalk old friends without communicating with them has already brought about awkward moments.

When coming across an old friend on campus, one must pretend to know nothing about the other. You didn’t see pictures of their new haircut and you didn’t know they had a new boyfriend.

Or, you would not have known had you not been creeping.

Other awkwardness will occur at our 10-year reunions.

“Oh, you married him?” you’ll say, while thinking to yourself, “Duh, and, yesterday, you guys went to the store to get milk.”

As we become more self-centered, we slowly become less interested in others. Let this be a warning to save us from having robot-speaking children.

Jen just finished writing this article. E-mail her at jennifer.bondeson@asu.edu.


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