Swine flu. Just when you thought you had made it past the danger and it had finally slipped your mind, the illness is back to hog our attention as cold and flu season nears.
Not only is the swine flu rearing its ugly, piggy head again, but with national health care reform sparking huge debates around the country, it is probably safe to say that keeping healthy is a pretty big deal.
We here at The State Press agree that having tens of millions of Americans live without health insurance is a problem that must be fixed quickly and effectively. Having access to quality health care is not only important to individuals, but to society as a whole. Despite being able to skip out on classes when you’re sick, being healthy tends to be preferable to spending time in doctors’ offices or hospitals.
But if you’re looking to Washington to fix your health care problems, we wouldn’t suggest holding your breath. The debate on both sides of the aisle may continue raging for quite a while.
Until a cure is found to fix the national problem (we suggest a laughter-based health care program — it is, after all, the best medicine), take note of these tricks to keep you healthy while you wait:
• Take a spoonful of sugar. It is a pretty sweet way to help the medicine go down.
• Open a kissing booth. Yes, it may encourage the spread of mononucleosis, but kissing an ouchie is scientifically proven to make it feel better.
• Stock up on apples and Flintstones vitamins. Both are nutritious and delicious.
• Consider living in a bubble. Make sure it is air conditioned if you plan on taking it outside — Arizona sun and being enclosed in plastic does not make a healthy combination.
• If you’d rather not deal with the physical bubble, try living your life solely via social-networking sites. It would likely be a smooth transition — think about how many times you check your Facebook account anyway. Plus, computers have the added bonus of being able to quarantine viruses.
• Eliminate the source of swine flu: Eat more pork.
• Take the minimalist approach: Ice it and suck it up.
If none of these suggestions are working out for you, try visiting ASU’s positively terrifying Web site: asu.edu/pandemic. Despite its frightening Web address, it will keep you updated on the symptoms of swine flu and provides helpful links to the Centers for Disease Control.
We’re hoping ASU will soon start hosting asu.edu/lacerations, with helpful tips on what to do should you gash your leg running away from rampant swine on campus.
One thing we know: ignoring an issue until it goes away is not a good solution. Health care is a problem that will not solve itself.
