Testing PETA
(In response to Maxfield Barker’s March 2 article, “PETA takes on ASU.”)
Regarding People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals’ (PETA) entirely convincing crusade against the use of vivisection during biology classes, I believe I have created an alternate solution that can assuage the problem. Not only do I think this will help calm PETA, but I hope it will be beneficial to ASU as well.
PETA objects to the use of living frogs (the most beautiful of all animals, what with their slimy skin and Gene Simmons-esque tongues) as education tools for biology students. That the students are actually learning about the circulatory system is irrelevant to the brilliant minds of PETA, who believe that frog’s God-given natural rights have been usurped by the oppressive Life Science department. So what are we to do?
The solution is simple: Use members of PETA instead. Think of the possibilities! In the short-term, precious animals are not being harmed, so the frogs are now spared an ignominious end. In their stead, and endless stream of animal-rights activists have gladly sacrificed their lives so the noble frog’s liberties can no longer be infringed upon.
Furthermore, ASU now has a greater avenue for immersive, educational experiences. Instead of using an analogous creature, ASU now has actual human beings that it can be utilized for experimentation, only bettering the educational experience. Not only that, PETA will no longer need to petition the government against perceived animal rights abuses perpetrated by ASU.
It looks to me like a win-win situation.
AJ Frost Undergraduate
