We’ve all heard them before, some of us so many times we can recite them in our sleep. Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward, until infidelity do you part? No, that’s not right.
What about until pre-nuptial agreements do you part? Wait a minute now, the traditional saying is until death do you part, isn’t it? But if this is the case, why have so many marriage ceremonies replaced the traditional vows with a different ending?
Let’s examine today’s society. According to the Love and Relationships Center, nearly half of all marriages end in divorce. Examples you ask? It would be my pleasure. We have Madonna and Guy Ritchie, Usher Raymond and Tameka Foster Raymond, Jon and Kate Gosselin and the list, similar to the divorce papers, just goes on and on.
So celebrities, and people who turned their eight children into their 15 minutes of fame, break up all the time. Big deal. But these break ups are closer than you think, especially when it comes to women.
The Pew Research Center reports that Arizona is one of the top five states with the highest percentage of divorced women. Our northwestern neighbor comes in at number one with the most divorced men and women, but that’s to be expected of Nevada — I mean, c’mon, it’s home to Sin City.
So, in today’s society, is marriage realistic? They say college is the time when you meet your husband or your wife, and some already have, but what about the rest of us? Is saying “I do” out and cohabitating instead in? Is every guy going to betray you like Jesse James did Sandra Bullock, and is every girl going to break your heart the way Meg Ryan broke Dennis Quaid’s?
I don’t think so. Even with the increasing cases of extramarital affairs and legal separations, marriage is still possible. In spite of so much negativity, we still have wonderful examples of lasting and fulfilling marriages. Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson have showed us how to maintain love for over two decades, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett continue to demonstrate the importance of balancing work and family life, and Barack and Michelle Obama prove to us that love truly endures all things, even the brutality of politics.
The key ingredient that these successful couples possess is commitment. Marriage is not solely based on attraction, emotions and feelings of oh-I’m-just-so-in-love. It is a commitment — a decision by two people to pledge themselves to one another until death, not irreconcilable differeces, do them part.
“Commitment is never giving up,” said public relations sophomore Jasmine Dean. “You need commitment to mentally build a relationship.”
If now really is the time that we’re going to meet those individuals we deem “the one,” I hope our generation will decrease the divorce statistics by making the decision to stay committed.
Reach Shala at smmarks3@asu.edu
