Parents spend 18-plus years watching their sons and daughters grow into young adulthood.
So by the time their kids move into their first dorm or apartment, it can be scary for parents who want to cling to the idea that their kids are still kids, instead of maturing adults about to start going to academic lectures with hundreds of people — or skipping said lecture to sleep off that wicked hangover.
Parents’ inability to let go has become so much of an issue that universities are implementing programs and strategies to help speed up the process. At Morehouse College, freshmen walk through the university gates —literally keeping parents outside. According to The New York Times, schools like Morehouse College, University of Minnesota and Grinnell College are all using new techniques to get hovering parentals to respect a little personal space.
These colleges give parents a deadline for leaving, or even go so far as to separate them entirely, allowing students to move in while parents go to a special reception. This reception is for no reason other than to physically separate parents from students.
New college students want to seem mature, and parents that just won’t seem to go away don’t help that feeling. However, think about why parents stick around. They’re worried their kids will need something, like a trip to the grocery store or, best case scenario, one last hug. The way our parents see it, we’re robbing them of their sole purpose for almost two decades.
Here’s the problem: College News reports that only 30 percent of incoming freshmen are actually prepared for college — and we aren’t talking about forgetting to buy a mini-fridge. College is a huge transition, and not everyone is ready for it.
College News also reports that half of high school students don’t even want to go to college. That’s hard to believe, what with rising tuition rates, downsized schools and the amount of university violence that occurs. Four-year university programs just aren’t for everyone.
Remember, despite the tears and late-night phone calls, parents generally want their kids to go to college. Not all of them, but let’s go with a vast majority. They want their kids to be able to get a good job and be able to support themselves. It’s not unfair or asking too much and is tied directly to caring about their kids. However, if their freshman isn’t ready to be just that, it’s a fruitless endeavor.
Maybe it’s time students hear out their parents’ concerns and vice versa. Students in high school should let mom and dad voice their fears, and maybe even let their mom cry about their childhood a bit. In return, parents will listen to why their kid feels ready — or doesn't. Open up the communication lines early, and ASU won’t have to set up police tape to keep parents out of Manzanita while students try to move in.
Oh, and if you have any younger siblings, be sure to let them know they have options outside of a university education. Their sanity will be better for it.
Congratulate this columnist on her final university semester at amurrell@asu.edu
