The Montana Supreme Court struck down laws that banned homosexuality in the 1997 case Gryczan vs. Montana.
For years, though, the state’s Republicans have continued to support laws that would make it illegal to be gay in Montana.
Twelve years later, with the ruling that the military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy was unconstitutional, one would think the Montana GOP would adopt a different policy regarding gay rights.
However, that couldn’t be further from the truth. According to an article released by The Associated Press, the Montana Republican Party adopted an official platform in June that would make homosexual acts illegal.
The Montana GOP has provided little reasoning for its initiative marked by severe homophobia and ignorance.
However, I imagine it’s quite entertaining to outlaw things you don’t agree with, especially if you don’t have to provide any logic.
Given the chance to randomly eliminate things I don’t like in society, I might begin like this:
Kim Kardashian. OK, tell me, what has she really done for our culture except release one too many sex tapes and confuse the public about her ever-changing relationship status? Yes, she made salads look sexy in that Carl’s Jr. ad, but Paris Hilton made hamburgers look sexy too, and we all know how that ends.
The Twilight Saga. In no way do I suggest banning Taylor Lautner, but the whole “Twilight” obsession needs to be exposed to the light of day for what it really is — an unworthy phenomenon.
Redheads. There is something unnatural about redheads. I can’t quite pinpoint it, but I know there’s something weird going on with them. My guess is that they’re secretly trying to take over the world. M.I.A. knows something we don’t know.
Cake. Child obesity is on the rise. We need to help those poor lil’ munchkins out. And maybe while we’re at it, that absurd saying “I love you like a fat kid loves cake” will die off. I’m sure fat kids across the nation do not appreciate being ridiculed for their eating habits. Not that we’ll eliminate child obesity by banning cake, but it’s a start.
Jersey Shore. This nightmarish show teaches children the definition of “toxic waste.” Next thing you know, names like Snooki, JWOWW and The Situation will be on the rise, and in no way, shape, or form is that acceptable.
Toilet Paper. New initiatives need to be adopted to save the environment. If George Washington could do without toilet paper, so can we. Bring back the bidet.
Levi Johnston. We cannot have Sarah Palin’s wannabe son-in-law posing nude anytime, anywhere. Johnston’s “johnson” isn’t getting him anyplace.
The KFC Double Down. This “sandwich” will have individuals across the nation coming to the hospital “dead on arrival.” Even Alka-Seltzer can’t help us on this one.
So there is my list of things we should ban. I hope the Montana GOP takes heed of this ill-conceived “shopping list” and recognizes the dangers of their own, mean-spirited and biased legislation.
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