It’s not much of a surprise that the United States has the highest divorce rate in the world. It has become part of our culture and is completely normal, showing up in movies and television with little to no consequence. The solution to the high rate, as suggested by a recent New York Times article, may come as a surprise: watching other people get divorced.
Despite the high rate of separating couples in the United States, the number has actually dropped in the last five years. While part of that is due to a drop in actual marriages, there may be other reasons. A New York Times article attributes that drop to the amount of media that glorifies and glamorizes divorce, even going so far as to coin a phrase — “divorce porn.”
Divorce porn is the literature, movies, and television that glamorize divorce. The New York Times article, “The Joys of Vicarious Divorce” by Bruce Feiler, pointed out that by indulging in divorce porn, the desirability of divorce decreases dramatically. Feiler’s end hypothesis is that by taking part in divorce porn, relationships can be saved. Watching or reading about a divorce can be a form of therapy for someone considering divorce or separation. More divorce porn can equal a stronger commitment.
It’s logical. Watching a couple on the big screen fight, share custody, and rejoin the adult dating scene is enough to make anyone run away from single life in horror. Or even watching the girls on “The Hills,” constantly breaking up and getting back together, can exhaust you. Watching television — reality or not — that centers around breakups can shine a new light. It makes it easier to appreciate your significant other, even if he or she is driving you up the wall. It may not fix the urge you have to break up, but you should at least take pause instead of getting caught in an endless cycle.
Allowing the media to treat divorce and break ups like an easy solution may seem like a bad influence, but the more relationships that are trashed before your eyes, the more you may love the idea of staying with one person for an extended amount of time.
While it makes sense, it certainly isn’t a complete solution to divorce. More than anything, it’s a reflection of the culture we live in, obsessed with celebrities and every sordid detail of everyone’s lives. In America, the divorce rate is approximately 4.95 per 1000 people. Compare that to Sri Lanka, 0.15 per 1000 people. American culture is about quick fixes, and divorce plays into that.
In the same way that "Nip/Tuck" makes you never want to get a nose job, Julia Roberts can make you never want to get a divorce. By all means, staying with that guy who can’t replace the toilet paper roll or that girl who isn’t good at communicating is much cheaper than taking a trip around the world. Instead of getting angry and considering a break up, make some pasta at home and kiss that person across the table from you.
Send divorce movie suggestions to amurrell@asu.edu.
