The peaking wedding months of fall — September, October and November — are upon us, and I feel as if Facebook tells me every day about another person from my high school getting engaged or married. I was looking at a wedding album not even a week ago of a girl younger than me who is married and just came back from her honeymoon.
Some of my friends already know or talk about marrying their boy or girlfriends, and some of them have moved in together already or are seriously considering it. My friend recently spent her day picking out tile countertops with her boyfriend.
Are we really ready to marry by the time we graduate college?
If anything, we should be taking advantage of the fact that society doesn’t expect us to live in that traditional lifestyle anymore.
Most of the people around me are rushing into marriage and feel as if they need to settle down. That’s great if you think you are ready for it, but most people aren’t.
Some of my friends aren’t ready for it even if they think they are. Because most of those friends come to me with their problems, it’s safe to say they have huge relationship issues that will result in a divorce if they don’t fix the problem before the wedding.
According to Divorcestatistics.org, 36.6 percent of women and 38.8 percent of males are most likely to get divorced between the ages of 20 and 24, which are the highest percentages of all ages.
People are constantly changing. Especially in their 20’s. We’re just starting our careers and meeting a ton of new people. At some point the qualities you are looking for in a partner could change.
For instance, my friend is about to graduate college, and she’s ready for the real world; she’s motivated and has a great future ahead of her.
However, her boyfriend is still figuring out what he wants to do with his life. Right now it’s fine that they are at different places in their lives, but in a few years she will be well into her career and he might still be in school or just starting to get into what he wants to do.
By then she might not be inclined to be with someone who isn’t as career-oriented as she is.
It’s fun at this age to be in love with someone and think marriage is a great idea, but it’s important to be realistic too.
Marriage is something that takes work and commitment. Many people have a skewed image at what being married is really like. It’s not always easy, and you have to be ready to struggle a little bit and work through it. That’s where many people in their 20’s give up. After they realize how much effort a marriage can take, they freak out.
Next time you have that marriage talk with your partner, really think about if you could spend the rest of your life with that person. If you aren’t 100 percent positive, there’s a good chance you’ll end up divorced before turning 30.
Not to rain on your wedding plans, but divorce is expensive and emotionally draining. So, enjoy being young and in love while you can.
Send Lindsey your questions lskupfer@gmail.com
