Although Facebook is a great tool for networking and connecting with friends, it is also a place where relationships are destroyed. According to a study in the journal CyberPsychology & Behavior, Facebook provokes an increase in jealousy among college students. The study showed that 19.1 percent of participants became increasingly jealous when monitoring their significant others’ activity. The relationship status on Facebook started as a fun way to tell your friends whom you’re dating. However, it has turned into a way for people to mark their territory. About two years ago when I decided to delete my relationship status altogether, friends questioned how I would keep girls from trying to flirt with my boyfriend at the time. That made me realize people were mainly using the status to make sure other people didn’t try to hit on their partner. I thought that was the worst of the jealousy problems until I started noticing Facebook PDA. Couples were writing personal love letters to each other so everyone could see it. From the vague to the detailed, things that should be said to each other’s face are publically posted as a way to alleviate insecurities and jealousy. The study mentions that 10.3 percent of participants had major difficulties controlling how many times a day they viewed their boyfriend or girlfriend’s page. They analyze their new friends and the conversations to ensure there is no suspicious activity. In a way, these people are searching for reasons to get upset and argue with the person they’re dating. Facebook, like any other messaging system, contributes to miscommunication within relationships. Unfortunately, you never know a person’s exact tone in messaging. A simple joke with the opposite sex could lead your boyfriend or girlfriend to suspect you of being unfaithful. You should always tell yourself that a conversation between your partner and a member of the opposite sex is purely friendship. People always assume the worst, which is why there are such severe trust issues these days. Give them a chance to explain. You can’t monitor whom your boyfriend or girlfriend talks to, because that shows you have no faith in your own relationship. Of course most people have a jealous streak, but it’s important to trust the person you are dating or it will never work. It will always lead to uncontrollable jealously, an increased amount of fights and, possibly, a break up. So take a week off. Pick a week when you and your significant other can’t look at each other’s Facebook or check their every move. I bet there will be less fighting and less stress on both of you. If you can’t handle it for one week, then you seriously need to think about your relationship. Think about how stressed you get when you see the opposite sex writing on their wall and consider why you can’t trust whom you’re with.
Send comments to lkupfer@asu.edu
