Arizona is a state unlike any other. You can drive two hours in one direction and not leave the Phoenix metro area. We feel that huge, man-made bodies of water are best dammed by inflatable balloons. You can buy dozens of semi-automatic weapons without ID or paperwork. We are best known for a picturesque hole in the ground. Our specialty is aged politicians, like the governor who quickly recalls inaccurate facts about decapitated bodies, but needs 13 seconds of live airtime to remember the good she’s done since her promotion. And there is a big mountain in the middle of Phoenix that looks like a camel.
But the most unique part about Arizona, the Southern half of it in particular, is that while the calendar may say it’s October, it somehow still feels like the middle of summer.
For non-native Arizonans, this lingering October heat gives the illusion of time-travel. While other parts of the country would have cool, crisp weather by now, we still get burned by our seat-belt buckles in the afternoon.
The nation’s more temperate regions are watching leaves turn orange and yellow, while our cacti and palm trees look unchanged. Stores fill up with cold-weather jackets that Phoenicians laugh at before heading to the clearance section for a new swimsuit. For students, it may feel odd to be halfway through a semester and still worrying about the back sweat you work up on your walk to class. October can be a confusing time in the desert.
Take Oktoberfest for instance. Last weekend Tempe Beach Park housed the annual celebration of beer and German culture during sweltering heat of 103 degrees. This means that drinkers had about three minutes to enjoy their beer cold and were warned repeatedly about staying hydrated while consuming alcohol in the heat of the day. Plastic squirt bottles were more popular than beer steins. Overheated drunks gazed longingly at the splash park, jealous of the little kids running around under cool water. There wasn’t even a full lake to appreciate.
Now the very first Oktoberfest was 200 years ago, on Oct. 12, to celebrate agriculture and a successful harvest — here’s a fun fact, the average high this month in Munich is about 60 degrees. Sounds like the dead of winter here.
Let it go, Arizona. We don’t have seasons. It’s best to not overthink these things and just go along with the traditions of the rest of America. Let’s soak in the rays and wait out the nonsensical heat for just another week or two. Soon we’ll be calling our East Coast friends to brag about the sunshine while they shovel snow from driveways.
If you’d like to celebrate fall harvest in the heat, the Valley will have another Oktoberfest starting tomorrow at Margaret T. Hance Park in Downtown Phoenix. The forecast is a mere 90 to 92 degrees, which is as close to fall as we’re going to get.
Send Sarah clearance swimwear deals at swhitmir@asu.edu
