In a claim that files under the “less-than-surprising” category, an Alabama law firm has filed a class-action lawsuit against the Taco Bell Corporation, having taken beef with Taco Bell’s alleged “beef.” Pun opportunities like that are once in a lifetime, kids.
The lawsuit seems honest enough. They simply ask Taco Bell to advertise honestly, rather than seeking monetary compensation. "We are asking that they stop saying that they are selling beef," Attorney Dee Miles said, according to the Associated Press.
That seems like a fair and reasonable request, considering the fact that Taco Bell’s meat mixture — doesn’t that just sound appetizing? — was tested and revealed to contain “less than 35 percent beef,” along with a whole slew of other additives, including soy lecithin, maltodrextrin and an anti-dusting agent. That last one doesn’t even sound edible.
Taco Bell, like any big corporation caught with their pants around their ankles, responded swiftly and ferociously through the magic of advertising. The “Fourth Meal” restaurant franchise bought out a full-page print ad in a number of national newspapers, including USA Today, The New York Times and the Wall Street Journal.
Such ads can “cost more than $100,000,” according to The Huffington Post. The ad, in addition to the Taco Bell corporate website, claims the meat mixture actually contains “88% USDA-inspected quality beef,” a number much easier to swallow. A promise to counter-sue has also been made.
Yet this move seems to be little more than an over-reaction. On Feb. 3, Yum! Brands, Inc., Taco Bell’s parent company, released their quarterly earnings report, citing a net income of $274 million, a full 21% increase from last quarter, despite the release of the lawsuit the week before, according to the Associated Press.
It seems both parties have overlooked a key foundation of the American mindset — our enduring love for nutritionally worthless fast food. You can take my XXL Chalupa ... when you pry it from my cold, dead and greasy hands
Junk food is as intrinsically American as the automobile or the gun. We will always be the nation of the hamburger. The Big Mac sits in front of the waving red, white and blue, atop Lady Liberty’s left hand, with a family of bald eagles nuzzling their majestic heads against the soft sesame seed bun, all to the tune of The Black Eyed Pea’s “I Gotta Feeling” with the obligatory fireworks in the background.
Taking into account the state of our economy, we are primed for Taco Bell’s low prices, even if we know what they’re serving us. With tuition increasing across the board at ASU, it’s likely the Taco Bells near ASU are going to see more business.
Incoming freshmen, does that meal plan you’re about to drop more than $2,000 on include a “Fourth Meal?” Do your dining halls come stocked with Mountain Dew Baja Blast? I think not.
At the end of the day, Taco Bell is going nowhere.
Because when it's 1 a.m. on a Sunday morning and your life’s most urgent dilemma is deciding between a Beefy Crunch Box or the 12 Taco Party Pack because “you could totally finish that bro,” the last thing on your mind is how much the meat here is like the stuff your mom gets at Whole Foods.
Reach David at dsydiong@asu.edu
