A woman got ready to attend a work meeting with her husband. She put her hair up in a neat bun and dressed up in a pantsuit. Soon after the meeting her husband told her he was embarrassed because she looked awful. He said that she needed to go home and change immediately.
A younger girl was getting ready for a night out with her girlfriends. She put on a minidress for the evening. When her boyfriend walked in, he told her the dress was too slutty and he didn’t want her wearing it out. She changed into an outfit he approved.
Even though these situations don’t result in physical bruises, the emotional scars they leave can be just as dangerous. This type of abuse is called psychological abuse.
Without the physical markings it’s even harder to know that someone is being abused. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 95 percent of people who are physically abused are also psychologically abused. This percentage doesn’t even include the people who experience only emotional damage.
Unfortunately, the NCADV reports that females ages 20 to 24 are at the highest risk for nonfatal intimate partner violence.
Examples of psychological and emotional abuse, according to the CDC, include trying to control the victim by telling them what they can and can’t do.
A victim can also be purposely embarrassed or humiliated and alienated from family or friends. The abuser could threaten to hurt the victim or to commit suicide if the victim tries to leave the relationship.
Many people focus on types of physical abuse and forget that serious mental disorders, such as depression and anxiety, can be caused simply by significant others who constantly make their partners feel terrible and worthless.
People who psychologically abuse their partners try to make them feel powerless and dependent to obtain complete control.
One of the main causes of domestic violence is inequality in relationships. According to “Families: A Sociological Perspective,” by David M. Newman, the risk of violence is higher in relationships in which decisions are made primarily by one partner.
The book also states that while most people assume that drugs and alcohol are involved in domestic abuse cases, 75 percent of cases did not occur when either partner was under the influence.
Because the abuser tries to isolate the victim, it’s hard to tell when there is emotional abuse. Many people blame themselves for the behavior of the abuser. The victim will always hope that the situation will get better, but it doesn’t.
It’s hard for people to get out of a situation like this — but it is possible. I personally know two people who have gotten out and I see them with people now who wouldn’t hurt them. It’s important to realize that the victim might be traumatized, but it’s the abuser that has the serious problems and needs help.
If you know anyone who is being abused emotionally or physically, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE.
Contact Lindsey at Lindsey.Kupfer@asu.edu
