Last weekend, my friend decided that after two weeks of being recently single, she was ready for a girls’ night out. What she didn’t anticipate was that her ex was out and at the same place she wanted to go.
After ducking out of one place to avoid the awkward run-in, she asked me, “What do I do when running away isn’t an option?”
After a breakup certain places become off-limits. Locations you and your ex would go together are avoided for fear of confrontation.
Going out for drinks becomes a game of staring at the door and constant second glances at people who have the same hair color, hoping that you and an ex won’t end up at the same place at the same time.
In the one of the largest colleges in the U.S. it would seem easy to avoid someone. But that isn’t how the world works, is it?
The people we try to steer clear of are the ones we tend to crash into the most.
Maturity is key when spotting your ex out in public. Seems easy enough, but after a couple drinks, abstaining from rude comments becomes a little more difficult.
Try not to say sarcastic remarks that sound bitter because it shows your ex that you aren’t even close to moving on. It’s better to just ask how they have been or what’s new in their lives.
Make the encounter brief. You don’t want to spend all night in an awkward conversation, especially since what the person has to say could upset you more.
You don’t really want to hear that their life is perfect without you in it and vice versa. It’s okay to be confident, but don’t brag just so you can win the “who’s getting over whom faster” game.
Long conversations lead to reminiscing about good times and inside jokes and, while it may seem fine, it might ruin some of the progress you made just trying to get over them.
You have to keep reminding yourself that there was a reason you aren’t together anymore.
Seeing each other can either be a good experience or an awful one, but remember to make it short, casual and mature and you will be able to get through it.
After the conversation you should feel good that you were able to suck it up and get the first run-in out of the way.
It’s okay to leave the place that you are at afterward if it still hurts too much to be around them. It’s inevitable that you will run into your ex: instead of winging it, just mentally prepare yourself for it.
Reach Lindsey at lindsey.kupfer@asu.edu
